edennyo avenue

not what i bargained for

2011-02-08T21:36:00.004+08:00

so far working life has left less good impact on me. i constantly feel uneasy, stressed, and unhappy when it comes to school related stuff n my work. this early stage of my career seems to be hell for me. tonnes of work are thrown upon me and many are not of any major importance but they turned to be so. the demands of multiple parties give me a headache.

i am still struggling to juggle my work and my private life. i am all over the place. when i calculate my daily time, i have less time to think about other stuffs other than work. when i wake up in the morning, i prepare to go to school. after school, if i ever have the chance i will dose off for one or a couple of hours. after waking up, i merely have two or three hours to mingle with my family, eat and shower. then comes night, i start thinking about tomorrow's work at school. planning for lesson takes longer time. then time to sleep. n then the cycle goes on. tired. i'm really tired. time is what i dont have.

the demand of so many work most of the time hampers me from focusing on my core business, which is planning n teaching. planning for lesson takes more time than other work. so much things to be considered. n to come out with interesting activities for the pupils, i need time to prepare the teaching aids n what not. that i dont have. the time flies by doing other stuff which i dont want to mention here. as a new teacher, i dont have the flow of lesson on my fingertips like the more experienced teachers. that is why they do not have to struggle to prepare their lesson although they have massive workload too. i'm preparing my lesson pretty much from scratch as the preplanned lessons in the teacher's guide are not suitable for my pupils' level of attainment. i wish i had more time to prepare my lessons properly so that my pupils will benefit most from it. it is them that i most feel sorry for. they did not get the best of me in class for i did not have the ample time to prepare. being a new teacher, i am not supposed to be teaching the chalk-and-talk way. it is a shame that my creativity goes to waste.

the other work - some are important and some are just not. being a new one, people are finding a way to release all the burden by handing them over to me. that's life. i cant do anything about it. just begging for sympathy from a few people who understand the burden and are nice enough to give some advice and help. the positive side, i got to learn how to do things, how things work and what not to do. but the demand from the people gets me crazy. this person asked for this, this person asked for that, this person expected me to do this, that person expected me to do that, all at the same time. who can stand that? *faint* no wonder teacher is one of the professions that cause the highest number of stress and worse, depression cases worldwide. i can feel my shoulder aches at this very moment, a sign of stress.

not just the demand, small things like communication with other people, sometimes succeed in giving me headache and heartache. as a new one, i was told not to say NO to people for i need to show that i'm capable of doing things, useful and all good. following that, i tend to keep what i feel upon the treatment i received to myself. those feelings bottled up with time. and i dont know until when i could hold it. some day it will burst. in easier words, i am being bullied. n the best part is, i cant say no.

i dont mind going to school, dealing with pupils of all kind, trying to tend them one by one to make them learn english and more. but the surrounding and some of the interaction with colleagues give me sour feeling. not too long ago, i was used to be the sacrifice of someone else's conflict and i am the victim. i was just doing the job of other's and i got the bad name for that. how nice. i got one label on my forehead now - disrespectful towards older teacher. how nice.

i hate all of this. this is not what i bargained for the first time i decided to be a teacher. this is way out of my hands now. just praying to God that i can handle it somehow and be strong.

fare thee well 2010!!~

2010-12-31T21:43:00.001+08:00

i cant believe i only have 6 entries between this and the previous year parting entry. what that marks? of course my lack of focus in my interests and commitment to this dear blog of mine. besides, it's not like there are many people waiting impatiently for my updates. haha.

i want to make this a custom. listing what have happened this year on the very final day to look back at all the improvements, happenings, memories, and the most importantly, changes in my life. it is some kind of a reflection i might say. let us take a look down the alley of 2010...

january: -practicum phase II commenced.

-living in a new renthouse with new housemates in Paya Rumput (the irritating landlady)

-experience life as a teacher

february: -my latest niece was born (Nur Afiqah, my sister's 2nd child)

april: -practicum ended (nice memories at SK Belimbing Dalam)

-cohort 3 farewell dinner that caused so many controversy but i attended gleefully

-parting with dear friends of 6 years (and more years to come, i hope)

-the beginning of house habitation (loafing around, unemployed)

may: -i ruined my sis-in-laws portable hard disk worth of 300GB. just great.

june: -back to the "most memorable" place to attend KISSM

-reunion with my dearest TESL cohort 3 girls, living together side by side in the hostel (sweet memories)

july: -the posting buzz started

-the irritating tmpoint clerk disgusted me over tmnet streamyx matters (remains unsolved until now)

august: -back to iium for clearance

-eyu's shocking news

-one whole fasting month at home (the first since i was 12)

september -hari raya at Pantai Remis, Perak (the first after 31 years)

-the unpleasant days of waiting for posting news

-robe collection (reunion with dearie c3 girls at iium)

-my birthday

october: -CONVO!! (the happiest moments in my life to date)

-posting (the beginning of my profession as a teacher)

-getting used to working life

november: -working hard training the pupils for performance at end-of-year prize-giving ceremony

december: -got my first car! NCL 3508 myvi SXi manual medallion gray. (such an awesome feeling to wake up with my car in mind)

-practised back driving (i'm not that bad after 6 years of halt)

-apath's wedding & kelantan trip (reunion with the beloved girls again)

-rode an intercity train for the first time! (nice experience)

-visited ain to see her daughter iman zihni (chubby cuddly cutey)

-first time getting paycheck (having a hard time managing it)

-purchased my first broadband modem (maxis)

-realisation of ustaz's kabuye prediction to be not happening

there. this and thats of 2010. what a memorable year. let us hope for a brighter future.

p/s: what shall 2011 have in store for me????

fare thee well 2010!!~

2010-12-31T21:43:00.000+08:00

january: -practicum phase II commenced.

-living in a new renthouse with new housemates in Paya Rumput (the irritating landlady)

-experience life as a teacher

february: -my latest niece was born (Nur Afiqah, my sister's 2nd child)

april: -practicum ended (nice memories at SK Belimbing Dalam)

-cohort 3 farewell dinner that caused so many controversy but i attended gleefully

-parting with dear friends of 6 years (and more years to come, i hope)

-the beginning of house habitation (loafing around, unemployed)

may: -i ruined my sis-in-laws portable hard disk worth of 300GB. just great.

june: -back to the "most memorable" place to attend KISSM

-reunion with my dearest TESL cohort 3 girls, living together side by side in the hostel (sweet memories)

july: -the posting buzz started

-the irritating tmpoint clerk disgusted me over tmnet streamyx matters (remains unsolved until now)

august: -back to iium for clearance

-eyu's shocking news

-one whole fasting month at home (the first since i was 12)

september -hari raya at Pantai Remis, Perak (the first after 31 years)

-the unpleasant days of waiting for posting news

-robe collection (reunion with dearie c3 girls at iium)

-my birthday

october: -CONVO!! (the happiest moments in my life to date)

-posting (the beginning of my profession as a teacher)

-getting used to working life

november: -working hard training the pupils for performance at end-of-year prize-giving ceremony

december: -got my first car! NCL 3508 myvi SXi manual medallion gray. (such an awesome feeling to wake up with my car in mind)

-practised back driving (i'm not that bad after 6 years of halt)

-apath's wedding & kelantan trip (reunion with the beloved girls again)

-rode an intercity train for the first time! (nice experience)

-visited ain to see her daughter iman zihni (chubby cuddly cutey)

-first time getting paycheck (having a hard time managing it)

-purchased my first broadband modem (maxis)

-realisation of ustaz's kabuye prediction to be not happening

there. this and thats of 2010. what a memorable year. let us hope for a brighter future.

p/s: what shall 2011 have in store for me????

family portrait deficiency

2010-11-27T08:25:00.005+08:00

no family portrait this year.
for five consecutive years, we have been gathering all our family members to cramp in a studio to have a family portrait during hari raya. but that doesn't happen this year.

for one thing, we haven't had a decent meeting that marks a full attendance.
my brothers & sisters were celebrating hari raya else where (in-laws).
so did us. no one was home at our Kuala Pilah kampung house last hari raya.
we ran away to Perak and celebrated hari raya at my aunt's place due to some conflict with our neighbour. *this is the simplest i can say. any more elaboration will lead to hundreds of pages*

there you go. disappointed to not have a family portrait this year? hell yeah.

to joke around about it, we simply think that perhaps it is because the wall has no more room for another huge family portrait. the previous 5 portraits had taken all the space. what to do? there are so many of us. brothers and sisters only makes 8 of us. haha.. in total, there are 18 members in our family, for now. and the number keeps growing. :)

however i hope that we will have one soon.

*for now i just stare at my convocation ceremony photographs. proud moments that were. hehe

welcome to the school, rookie!

2010-11-19T16:53:00.006+08:00

i really have so much to say in this blog but at times i cant organise my thoughts on the spot. and the internet connection has been a challenge for me to be able to update the musings i have in mind. and i have this mood thing you know. i write whenever i have mood. when the mood is not there despite the pouring idea, i will not be writing not even one paragraph. huhu... enough said, i just want to state the obvious.

if you really follow the happenings in my life as stated in fb (pretty much about the happenings in my life or just anyone are available at facebook right? since fb is becoming more and more busybody nowadays.. haha) you will know that i itched sooo much to start working as a teacher. after the tiring 6 months wait, i finally hit the school.

i am now a teacher (although in reality i still need to be verified in my post as a government servant or in simpler words, still in probation, just like the driving license). you have no idea what joy it brings by just saying that. *sigh of relief*

a rookie to be exact. if you dont know what rookie is, allow me to explain it to you in some terms there are in this world we are walking in.

newbie = new ones in the department/school/office/wherever you work
rookie = fresh graduate who straight go to the first job with no experience whatsoever
penyapu baru = quite the same thing. but this label has functions with it. the newbie should (in the oldbie minds) be treated like a new broom, where all the work are pushed to the newbie as they have nothing to do and it will give them quite the experience. to a certain extent, this label gives some sort of permission to the oldbie to rag or as it gets stronger, BULLY the newbie. this is just what i think the label suggests. any difference in definition is welcomed.

that is exactly what i am, minus the treatment i mentioned. i am a rookie in my new school. therefore, some people treated me nice and some people didnt. it depends on how the 'oldbie' or the senior teachers perceive new teachers like me. i have to mention here that i didnt receive any harsh treatment at school as a rookie but going to school during the first three weeks was intimidating to me. i was trying to make myself look presentable, good and useful. i was trying hard to curb any negativity that might come out of me to present a good first impression on everyone, and most importantly to the Headmaster. i also was afraid to annoy or disappoint anyone. i am a loud happy-go-lucky person as my friends knew me but around new people, i am this shy awkward girl who can hardly utter audicable voice. i tried to come early but that didnt work well actually. haha.. lateness, it is in my blood, what to do?? hahaha

despite the term penyapu baru, not really many responsibilities were thrusted upon me last october for it was the end of the year. i just hang out in the staff room staring at meaningless papers while holding my sleepiness. haha.. many of my friends were not as lucky as i was. right away there were thrown so many tasks and jobs to do as their schools were much smaller than mine. my school is a big school with nearly 70 teachers. with that many teacher, not much workload for me to bear really. having said that, i praise Allah. :) but as the days progresses, i got some small jobs like training pupils performances for the prize-giving ceremony and being a class teacher. those were tedious and tiring but at least i got to do something.

as a rookie, it is interesting that i am at the stage where i still look around and try to read the people around me. i must figure out which can be befriended, or which i should stay away from. i gain so much exposure to the real world as a rookie. it is very educational to me to be able to learn people's behaviour and the types of people this wonderful world has. haha.. i am slowly getting the essence of socialising in the real world. surely it is not exactly as i imagined. but still, i am trying to do my best as a rookie. :)

love after marriage

2010-07-21T20:31:00.008+08:00

for years now, i have been loving all the novels, dramas and films with the central theme - husband & wife. this sensation has become my source of interest as i've always dream about what it is like to live a married life. those days seems far away for me now to be true but it never stop my passion to read or view work of such theme. once a friend said that i like those stuffs simply because i like 'cinta suci'. haha~ perhaps that is true. i am always eager to find out how two people figure out their differences to dwell on together. and now the issue, married because of love or married without love and grow it over time? those are the key factor that made the whole story interesting. it revolves around how two people forced into a loveless marriage and later on they fall in love. it is kind of a cliche actually since malay novels tend to have that as framework for the plot development. nonetheless, i still like each and everyone of them. hehe. yes, they may have the same framework like all hindi movies, but the causes and situations make the difference.

this is not strange because it has been a practice for our ancestors during the old times. arranged marriage is a norm back then. most of the couple barely know each other but agreed to get married and live a life together for convenience and a large number of them stay together until old. perhaps they managed to find love on the way? however, this is rare to be happening nowadays since most young people have the freedom to choose whomever they want to be married to. for many, it is a norm to experience love before marriage. they be friends first, love and then get married. some may stick to the old way especially those who view love before marriage is forbidden. or some simply do not know how to flirt and want to straight away go into marriage. hmmm.. wonder which category i will be in?? haha

some story may have one-sided love meaning that there is only one spouse that really love the other and yet they are not considered as a loving couple since the other side doesn't feel the same way until way later.

here is a number of novels with such theme and they will always be my favourite.

1. cemburu seorang perempuan
- a story about two best friends, zik & dhiya' trying to adjust to their new relationship as husband and wife.

2. angin dingin dari utara
- nabila Amin & nashrique, the two got married without knowing or seeing each other but love each other once they met.

3. the magic of ordinary days
- livvy got pregnant after a one-night stand and her father married her off to a farmer, ray, who loves her despite her condition.

5. perempuan tanpa dosa
- similar to livvy, lily is unexpectedly pregnant before marriage and Rizal became the 'pak sanggup'. the difference from the above novel is that both spouses don't love each other for a while.

6.ombak rindu
- arranged marriage again between taufik and country bumpkin salina to pay his father's gratitude to hers. people deem this one as an all-time favourite and a must-read to all novel readers.

and some dramas and films too.

1. the magic of ordinary days
- the film version of the novel. equally interesting. my all-time fav. =)

2. the painted veil
- a motion picture version of the classic novel where walter marry kitty even though she doesn't love him back. they fought so much and love blossoms quite late. tragic ending.

3. hum dil de chuke sanam
- nandini married vanraj when her heart belongs to other man. vanraj's strong love shown through out the effort of returning nandini back to her lover made nandini change her mind. happy ending.

4. wedding
- Korean drama series in which sena falls deeply for seungwoo and they got married despite the one-sided love. very compelling drama.

5. love comes softly
- recently widowed marty married clark out of survival and found love later on.

6. just married
- arranged marriage through the indian custom and just the insight of what the initial step in living with a stranger during their honeymoon. abhay and ritika learn to love each other in the end.

every one of them are indeed beautiful. you know more? why don't you name them? ;-)

world cup 2010

2010-07-12T23:04:00.014+08:00

it has been an amazing event held South Africa this year and that is-the most anticipated game of all- the 2010 FIFA world cup. it's all about football babeh! this prestigious event was recently concluded with the team Spain crowned as the winner.

~how i started~
we all have to wait for 4 year to witness all the great teams, players, games and happenings of world cup. indeed world cup is the most anticipated event to the whole globe since it is the biggest sport event of all, even greater than the olympics. i remember my initial exposure to this event vaguely and i was only 12 years old then, where the 1998 world cup was held in france. all i know then was brazil failed to win at the final and the host country was the champion. not really a football mania, i consider myself just a spectator to world cup. having three older brothers have perhaps blossomed the passion of football-watching in me. later on, it grew inside me, this whole football craze.

the next world cup which was held in 2002 by joint host korea & japan was pretty much the beginning for me. i didn't know much about the whole game, not the rules, nor the teams. i just wanted to be a part of the whole football frenzy and blindly followed my friends (at school) rooting for brazil in the final match which end up winning the tournament instead of germany. after that, knowing much more than before, and involving myself a little bit here and there in the English premier league, i realised i don't want to support brazil anymore. haha.. true they are one of the finest and strongest teams in the world but i just don't like their attitude.

thus in the 2006 world cup, i started to have a favourite which was England, resulting from a limited exposure only to EPL. i really put an effort by waking up at the wee hours to watch matches involving england but they never really succeeded. after watching the final match where zinadine zidane gone mad and headed an italian player on the chest, i made a resolution to watch the whole tournament next time and be a part of the whole excitement. i didn't miss the 2008 euro which was equally interesting. then i know which team is great and which team is poor. england didn't even qualify to the tournament hence making me change my support to germany who eventually lost to spain in the end.

~this is for real~
eventually 2010 came and world cup started. i was determined to root for england (again) and germany which appear to be better than the first. in the effort of throwing myself into the whole frenzy from the beginning, i made my own groups standing chart and the knock-out stage chart. when it commenced on 11th june, i was in a course thus i couldn't really watch the early matches. once i came back home, my world cup sensation officially kicked off. hehe..

it was just my father and i who really care for this world cup in the house. i shared all the passion, info, stats and opinion with my father. he asked me to draw the knock-out stage chart and i did. he even hung our board of world cup chart on the wall next to the television. usually that is my brothers' job but since i'm the only football-frenzy child left in the house, it's my job then. haha. i watched some of the games, starting from the third matches for each group that ran simultaneously. thanks to my holiday time spent at home, out of 64 matches, i managed to watch 17. haha, better than the previous world cup and i'm very proud of that.

our world cup chart

it is so fun to be able to watch the game from the beginning and experience the excitement, adrenaline pumping, frustrations, anxiety from the actions of 22 men chasing one ball. haha.. i really salute them all for having such skills and able to bring out the power within themselves to make their country proud.

~ups and downs~
to everyone's shock, the 2006 world cup winner italy and runner-up france were both dismissed from the world cup earlier than anyone has expected. they didn't even make it to the top of the group standing. what a shame. portugal-the team with the most expensive footballer in the world- also has sent packing early in the round of 16. it was a one-man show for christiano ronaldo. i enjoy cheering for korea as i've always like that country. skipper jisung really made an impression although they had to head back home early.

all along my viewing of this wonderful world cup, i've been rooting for the unimpressive england (i dont know why i still stick to them) and the strong germany. well, england has not been able to advance to the quarter finals like they used to in the past and i just hoped germany do better. the three lions had been showing less intesting performance and the star players of england couldn't bring joy to my heart. nonetheless, one memorable moment i remember from the game that witness both of my team of choice came head to head in the QF is the denied goal of frank lampard. it was clear that the jabulani ball went over the goal line but the 'superb' linesman didn't see it. it was some disheartening moments for england when germany stole their ball twice and scored. at that point, i could not help hating myself for rooting for england again. hahaha.. i learnt my lesson there. no more england after this. that's that, germany advances nonetheless. it is very much expected for them to win by 4-1. it's a shame that both david beckham n micheal ballack couldn't join the line-up due to injury. it would be extra wonderful to have them on the pitch.

frank lampard's denied goal

lampard is devastated to learn that his goal was denied

the first QF actually started to twist things around. the favourite, brazil was unexpectedly kicked out of the tournament by the sensational netherlands with the score 3-1. the five-time-winner could not believe themselves to be sent home to south america that early. that particular match turned my eyes to the oranje squad. they seemed to be owning the x-factor to be the next world cup bearer.

another shocking result happened the next day. the deutschland boys really astonished the world when they defeated argentina, the favourite to win the tournament. i was really shocked to see argentina lay helpless in that particular game which ended 4-0. those spectacular 4 goals put lionel messi's face to shame. even him -FIFA's best player of 2009- could not make his team advance to the semi. shame on you, maradona. haha

the 1st semi-final was delightful when the dutch advances to the final stage defeating uruguay by 3-2. it was a good game and diego forlan was playing superbly despite his team's defeat. the match witnessed two fabolous goals scored by the netherlands's skipper giovanni van bronckhorst and diego forlan respectively. i realised that the netherlands own some key players that needed to be watched out namely arjen robben whose skills are impeccable, and also wesley schneijder, one of the tournament's top scorer. on that note, i started to make netherlands my favourite.

the 2nd semi-final was a heartbreak for me as my favourite germany was not even given a chance to touch the ball during that match against spain. they conquered the whole game and advanced to the final with winning over the germans by 1-0. the history of euro 2008 has repeated through this game. once again, the germans couldn't break the spanish wall. i really hate david villa after this game. haha

right before the final, the 3rd placing match between germany and uruguay was held. it was by far the most entertaining match of them all. germany won by 3-2 and that has made my day.

after 30 other teams sent packing, the finalists came to the final stage and i was hoping that the netherlands will win. the game was harsh. there were too many yellow cards given by the referee. i understand the pressure that the players from both team were feeling. it's do or die. there is no turning back. all shots made by the famous david villa didn't score and the same thing happened to the oranje. all of them were putting their hope on robben, my hero of the match. nevertheless, that last minute goal by iniesta turned nightmare to the oranje. they were denied the world cup trophy. although some people might say that the spanish played better and stronger, i still do not want to admit that. i still put my support on the oranje now. and so the Spanish won the world cup. the rest is history. what a world cup!

i really miss all the actions now and really look forward to the next world cup that is going to be held in brazil in 2014. go go Netherlands & Deutschland!!

and it ended.. finally!!!

2010-07-04T22:51:00.006+08:00

all along since i first open this avenue, the posts i did were mostly based on my study, the struggles i faced in my training to be a real teacher. there are ups and downs and now, it all has ended. i have waited for a good long grueling tough and wonderful six years to get to the finish line and finally i reached it! i've been waiting since the day i learn ABC, to say this:

I HAVE GRADUATED!! yeeeeehaaaa~

i am of utmost happy to finish this in one piece after surviving typical questions like ''bile nak abes blaja?" and "berapa tahun lagi belajar?". it pays to wait that long. all the hardships, all the tears, all the disheartening moments, all the laughter, all the sweat, and all the memories have made me who i am today. i shall never forget those. the six years of dwelling together with other 48 girls is quite an experience of a lifetime.

however, this graduation that i have been looking forward to the whole time has a price to pay. friendship that i made through out this 6 years span is now put at test. we have to bid farewell to each other. it has to happen in order for us to start a new life. i accept it but let me tell you, it is not easy to be apart from friends that have accompanied me through out the journey. i am really going to miss them a lot.

we have been through all ups and downs together from the first time we met in the maktab back in june 2004, then 2 years of foundation that has been a lot of fun, then taaruf week at iium gombak in 2007 which has been a turning point for us all, then back a year at maktab which i personally hate the most of it but amazingly we survived the journey until mid 2008. and then life turned its course and we have a chance to live differently, more to our liking once we embarked on the journey at iium. it was rather the most peaceful and the most wonderful time we ever had in this journey i think. living in that gombak campus somehow has given us a break that we all deserve from all the sorrow and tribulation experienced at maktab. we began to know more about each other, we learnt more about life and became adults in the process. then comes 2009 where we had to head back to the maktab, much to our disgust, to endure one final year that was tiring as expected. the encounter with the stupid admin really tested us (we are no strangers to all the confrontations). nevertheless, we once again survived with old scar hidden within our smiles. then came 2010, we endured the practicum to get to the end of our journey. we then parted for a month and were called back to live a final life together for three-weeks KISSM (kursus induksi sistem saraan malaysia) back at the maktab and it ended last month (june 2010). it was a refreshing and very nice final moments we had together. look at how far we have gone. how wide we have expanded. how mature we have been. how beautiful all that is.

the 2+1+2+1 years of study has been a headache to explain to people but there you are.

after six years, i noticed that i changed a lot. i have become louder in terms of voicing out my thoughts, braver, tougher (non-literally), more hard-headed than ever, wiser i must say, more rebellious than before, and much more presentable (look-wise). hehe. thanks to all my dear friends, dear parents for your support, and the government for enabling me to go through all of those. *sigh of relief~*

anyone got a long broom? i need to sweep these spider webs off this avenue..

2010-05-11T00:44:00.005+08:00

hello there. assalam. annyeong hasaeyo. *practising hangeul back*

wow, it took me 4 months to post a new entry in this avenue. this shall be my first entry for 2010. i was so darn busy with practicum and everything thus i could not make the time to think about what to scribble here. i was pretty much occupied with my final semester. but dont worry people, i'm back now! *jumping around like after receiving the news of the admittance of allowance*

2010 ----> the year that i have been waiting for. the year that i have been looking forward to. this year marks the final year of my study, the year that i will be graduated (in fact, i hv.), and the year that i will start working! yeeeeehaaaaa~

this year is all about transition to a new phase of life. from a student to a graduate to a real teacher. from boundaries of friends to the real working world. who knows what else 2010 has in store for me? *wink wink*

one last entry for 2009

2009-12-31T20:00:00.004+08:00

the past one year had been great. there were ups and downs, and all those made me one bit wiser. my long six-years of study is coming to its end in 2010. before 2009 ends, let's recall the most memorable happenings in 2009 that made my year.

1. the births of two cute nephews - Ahmad Faid & Adam
2. three months of wait for my handphone to be repaired.
3. lost my first and beloved digital camera at sungai pisang
4. started this blog!
5. was the Head for Catering Committee at JASA's prog in Pulau Indah
6. Practicum Phase 1 at SK Gombak Utara
7. ain got married
8. stayed for 2 weeks in Kelantan on babysitting mission
9. left iium for my final year at maktab
10. returned to the most spiteful place --> maktab, to suffer more than ever
11. lived in rent house with friends
12. H1N1 fear
13. suspected for dengue --> high fever
14. turned 23
15. touched a snake for the first time
16. doing artwork for folio
17. rode a horse for the first time
18. boarded an airplane for the first time!
19. trip to pulau pinang
20. athirah got married
21. started wearing contact lenses
22. got great result for previous semester
23. drove van for the first time

and that is all i can go for the remaining hours of 2009. it was blissful, it was hard, it was full with hatred and it was a good year overall. i love to cherish those moments forever and anticipate for another wonderful year in 2010!

hobin jang hobin!!

2009-11-08T08:08:00.004+08:00

it is one of the most glorious nights that i can recall as a Negeri Sembilanese. the state where i was born, raise and always love won the Piala Malaysia by 3-1 last night. the victory against Kelantan is so sweet as i watched it with my brother at a mamak restaurant while fixing my laptop. huhu.. it was so cool to have won that. i was not the biggest fan at first, where i only got to know about the news that we were going to the finals about four days ago through facebook. but later as i realised the prestige of the game, i became more and more proud. hehe.. what more can i feel when we won and nailed it? haha.. thank you Negeri Sembilan players for giving us such an entertaining show. despite the rain, you guys nailed it. yeeehaaaa~

alas, i was quite disappointed to see the attitude of Kelantanese supporters. come on, what happen to 'my game is fair play'?? face it. you will be more of a respected person if you embrace the fact that you lose and it turned out that you became just a shame to your state. throwing fire crackers, bottles and lit up fire in the stadium were not good to be happening in a sport even. not to mention a LIVE sport event watched by the whole nation! huhu.. be a man laa.. and the players of Kelantan seemed to take it rough and kept committing foul and causing our player to fell and suffer in pain so frequent last night. that i understand though. at the edge of losing, you really don't care much about the price you are paying.

congratulations and viva Negeri Sembilan players! this victory is such a sweet memory to us, children of Negeri Sembilan. HOBIN JANG HOBIN~

a hectic october

2009-11-07T13:33:00.002+08:00

i itched to post an update for this blog but time and responsibilities come in my way. so much things going on, so hectic life. it was crazy dealing with the micro or macroteaching madness, groupwork, visual art folio and what not. plus the craziiiiiiiiiiinessssss of the LECTURERS that we need to handle with thousands of curse and bitter face doubled the reason to not putting me in a state where i feel free to scribble something here. gosh it was d*mn hectic!

place to do my practicum has come to knowledge now and it is situated near durian tunggal. i m looking forward to start the second phase of practicum and i feel scared too. this is one final chance to prove that i m one teacher material and can actually teach and make a difference. pray to Allah that it'll be smooth.

not to forget the money crisis i m facing nowadays. just to add the stress, it is now the time to do my final final exam. it is the real final for this six years of study. three papers down with an understandable amount of anger and relief at the same time. i have two more to go now. hopefully i can do it and not die without trying. thanks to my friends for giving me the chance to sit on it together again and study for the nights of exam. honestly i dont think i could do the exam without them helping. thanks so much dear friends!

rimas

2009-10-11T08:53:00.003+08:00

this is another post with a malay title. just want to signify how irritated i am with this one thing. funny how you could live with someone who is just not in the same book as you. well, it is definitely for convenience and for the sake of others. i particularly don't fond much on one name that irritates me to the bone. that one name never fail to annoy me every single day. can u imagine spending a lifetime with people like that? *groan*

listening to that one name's voice over and over again really really really irritates me. we are all enduring it for the sake of living this final year peacefully. i'm sick of it and can't wait to escape all these. owh how i hope that i can ditch that one name from my life for good. rimasnye~~~

one year older

2009-10-06T00:17:00.001+08:00

september 26th witnessed the turning of this 5' 1" tall girl to a new age. being 23 should mean much as i'm a year older to be ready to take on more responsibilities. upon my birthday, i don't really feel much. the number has just added and that is all. nothing really changes save for the environment i am in right now. things are pretty much the same. so little gain. perhaps one gain i got is knowledge. although things are pretty much the same, i should become wiser and more mature in my thoughts, perspectives and actions. the word SHOULD there means rather a suggestion or expectation. it is expected of me to become wiser. it is expected of me to become more mature. nonetheless, am i subject to fulfil all the suggestions and expectations? *sigh* again, i SHOULD be. or as it get stronger, i MUST be.

the age 23 signifies the opening of the real world to me. i'm about to leave this safe sanctuary of friends, campus, and regulations and lead my feet into the real working world. i am a real adult now. soon i'm going to have to make decisions on my own. soon i cannot use the excuse that "i am a student" anymore. what a total change..

this is what my birthday means to me. it certainly does not revolves around birthday cake or candle blowing or fancy gifts. i don't really fond of such celebration for my birthday. if others want to have it on their birthdays, then go on. but to me, on my birthday i'd rather have no celebration at all because birthday marks the coming of more and more challenges and responsibilities. it is enough for me to just receive 'happy birthday' wishes. that is all.

what an eid

2009-10-05T13:38:00.004+08:00

ramadhan just came by and went away from me this year just like that. i didn't feel as serene as i felt last year. it was so-so as i had not the time to perform the terawih and really enjoy the nikmat of ramadhan as my health condition was not the greatest and i was very busy settling my tonnes of work. the change of environment really leaves an impact. i don't really have the heart to celebrate anything here. plus with the bad happenings at the college during that month, there is not much to be happy about.

then came syawal. every eid i hope for a merry celebration. how i believe that it will happen every year.. owh.. it was just a hope because i love to be around my parents, siblings, niece & nephews, cousins and all. it turned out to be the most tensed eid so far. it was not a happy eid for me. tense went around every moment. it was a great deal of stress to my mother, my sisters and of course me. i cannot explain much further but i just want to say that all the tension revolves around my grandmother. people say do not be rude to the elderly, but i cannot help it. i was pushed and tensed. i really wish that all these can be over soon. i don't want to be misunderstood in my own home. i love my family and i am really sick of all the grudges and hard feelings stored deep in the bottom of our hearts. the wish "selamat hari raya, maaf zahir batin" is just a myth in my opinion. it is not really happening so why bother asking for apology? huh..

however, being able to take the annual family portrait is a nice memory though. this time around we are able to gather everyone (17 persons) to cramp into one frame of portrait. i know for sure that it will be expanded real soon. perhaps we can no longer fit into a photo studio after this. haha.. but i was amazed that all the babies behaved and co-operated for the photo shoot. no cry or whatsoever. even eri, my special baby brother was really great and obidient. the arrangement that i had for one year in my head has finally come to life. my mother constantly reminded us that this year has been a time of change to us. half of my siblings are married and they have the other side of family they need to attend to. so from now on, it will not always be the 8 of us during eid.

it was a so-so eid for me. not much duit raya collected as i'm older now. or perhaps they thought that i am working now. wrong, people! i'm still a student.. nevermind though. alhamdulillah for the rezeki i got. let us hope to have a better eid next year. eid mubarak everybody!

once a dengue drama

2009-09-03T23:48:00.002+08:00

about three weeks ago, i was in some sort of dengue drama that made me feel so weak, sensitive and sick. it all first started with a slight fever.then my body temperature get soooo hot (i mean very hot) on the next morning. with the fear of h1n1 pandemic still on, i went to the clinic and i was suspected for dengue. i felt relieved to learn that it was not h1n1 but still worried for i might be having dengue. it is equally terrifying. then i went home and rest. thanks to my housemates for earnestly tending me while i was sick. it does not end there. two days later, the fever came back and i noticed some rashes on my skin. it was a sign for me to go back to see the doctor. then i went back and forth to the clinic for a week. i took 4 blood tests as my platlet and white blood cell count are dropping. i got 3 days of MC (leave) and it was not the very best experience i had in my life. believe me, MC is just nothing to a sick person. i didn't felt better. i was not attending class for 4 days. the wait at the clinic really tested me. here you are, sick, shivering and need to lie down but you still have to get in line and queue for the blood test.

ramadhan came and i went home for holidays. the following week, i got sick once again and lost my appetite. i couldn't even finish my plate of rice and all the dishes my mother fixed. it was very frustrating not to be able to eat when that is what you really need. i really longed to feel healthy as usual. somehow i regained health and got back my appetite after two weeks of sickness. praise to Allah, i am fine now but the experience of sickness really leave a mark in my life. it was nothing really, compared to serious illnneses like heart problem, AIDS, or diabetes. but it was hard for me. i hope to stay fit and so does everyone else around me.

the date is finally working! hurrah~

2009-08-18T21:32:00.002+08:00

finally! i succeed in making the post date in this template visible! yay!
it took me 3 months to figure out how to show the date. fuh.. its all about the setting. now i can use this layout again. yippie!

H1N1: the fear

2009-08-08T21:20:00.007+08:00

H1N1 pandemic in our country is getting very serious these days. influenza A is a lot scarier than JE, faster than avian flu, more hazardous than dengue, and a lot worse than cikugunya.. more death are reported day by day. since i heard the first death, the number is rising up until 18 deaths to this very moment. it's scary. it's alarming. everyone should be very alarmed and should take care of his own health very seriously. there's a death heard last week just one kilometre away from the house i'm renting with my friends now.

it is a scary pandemic but people are not acting accordingly. quoting Mr. Rajendran (my lecturer), "the situation is serious but people are not being serious,". some even have the guts to mock us wearing the protective mask in the public. i'm so sorry to bother about my health and you don't. that's the attitude of many Malaysians on this serious matter.

but be bold. we are reminded not to bother all those silly remarks made by those who couldn't care less. wear a mask everywhere you go. take care of your health. but remember, death will come no matter what. it is destined to happen so, at a time, place and condition determined by Allah. nevertheless, we need to take preventive measures to this deadly flu and pray. may Allah grant us the best of health.

eyu and i are wearing masks even in our lecture room.

a long pause

2009-07-29T00:43:00.004+08:00

it was such a long time that this blog has been abandoned.. huhu.. pardon me.. not that i got nothing to write, it was just a time when so many things are happening and i got busy and i really need time to sit and think what to deliver here.. the transition of studying place has forced me to take a long pause from updating this dear blog of mine.. so many incidents has happened for the past five weeks..

one important matter is that i have returned to this place at melaka to resume my final year of study. the good news that we all have been waiting for has finally arrived. we got the chance to stay outside of the college! referring to the post entitled "and so we're doomed", i wa cursing that we're told to stay at the hostel but alhamdulillah, it didn't happen. thanks to Allah for granting my wish. =) now we can feel more freedom, have a taste of independence (with a rent house to take care of) and have less to think about the sourness at the college. nonetheless, i still cannot digest the fact that we're back here and no longer in KL.. i miss iium badly.. i hope that my final year here will go as smooth and i hope to excel in this very last studying semester.

farewell

2009-06-17T23:26:00.005+08:00

i should be saying this in this blog a long time ago. i have left iiu for real on june 1st. earlier, i have posted some entry regarding the fact that i'm about to say goodbye to iiu for my time there is finishing. well, the moment has passed without me having the time to post about it when it happens. now that i have the chance, therefore i bid farewell to my dear iiu.. two years there has been a great experience in my life. i have learnt so much being in iiu..

i appreaciate the freedom i had..

i appreciate the friendships i made there..

i appreciate the peace i experienced..

i appreciate the food i indulged..

i appreciate the opportunities i got..

i appreciate the chances i took..

i cherish the moments forever..

i now say, farewell dear iiu, for real..

dulu CIK, kini PUAN..

2009-06-05T13:16:00.011+08:00

the title earnestly does not explain me. hehe.. it's meant for my dear friend, Nurul Ain bt Mohd Mokhtar who have just got married last saturday. she is the first in our TESL cohort 3 batch to be married. it all went so fast, when she announced of her engagement during last Ramadhan. it is very memorable as she is the drama-queen of the batch, the 'gila-gila' one, & the zany one. she did not likely seem to get married early. thus we least expected her to be the first one to tie the knot. nonetheless, JODOH is a pre-planned matter of Allah's business and we have no power neither control over it. it is written that she got married at this age and we are all very happy for her. on saturday May 30th, the akad nikah ceremony has tied Ain to the bond of marriage with her husband. she is married to Mohd Nazri, 29, an engineer. although so many problems occured through my journey to attend Ain's wedding, i made it through. together with four other friends, i boarded from KL to kuantan early in the morning. once arrived at ain's house, we straight away searched for her and found her in the bilik pengantin. to my surprise, she was the most beautiful of her that i ever see. i was startled to see her as a bride and nearly come to tears. she has transformed into someone else that is very mature and more of a lady. we chit chatted for a while before the groom comes to the house. disbelief, happiness and the feeling of amazed all mixed around in our hearts upon watching ain being a bride. she told us that she was very pleased and touched to learn us attending her wedding. the ceremony then went smooth and i got to take some pictures of ain & her husband as the newlyweds.

ain as the bride

pengantin duduk bersanding.. ewaaah~

amik berkat.. hehe

it is an amazing feeling to watch your own friend on the pelamin and i cannot excuse myself from thinking of my own wedding day. will it happen? if yes, how soon will it be? well, the answers are all in Allah's hand and i wish Ain and her husband a thousand years of happiness and may the marriage always be in Allah's blessings. i'm very hopeful that very very soon, we, the rest of TESL cohort 3 will experience our wedding day too.. hehe.. one married, 48 more to go. =)

selamat pengantin baru!

ROS: finished!!

2009-06-05T08:30:00.005+08:00

perhaps it is quite too late to announce this but since i haven't got the civil time to sit and focus on writing about this, this entry only comes about today. actually, the SOP or ROS has been over somewhat 2 weeks ago. on the 22nd of May, we all gladly bid farewell to the whole school as our internship meets the end. i can conclude that my stay there for a whole month was not the most pleasant that i can imagine. there was a lot of uneasiness, awkwardness and fury felt. yes, i gained a priceless experience there and it was all a preparation to become a real teacher soon. i learnt a great deal of things like how to handle pupils with different kinds of attitude, how to cope with sudden demand from the admin or the colleagues, how to handle stress and how to handle crisis at hand. one important point that must be mentioned is that i learnt about communication and how to work with the other teachers. surely, through out the process, i have been labeled as a snob and all. that's the fate new interns like me had to face, being labeled as snobs whereas we had tried our best in appearing good and warm. that is one test from God that we need to deal with. the only fond memory i got is from my teachings in the classroom. those pupils were the only good thing about that school that i want to remember about. i surely will miss them and hope that they will do well in school and become great people in the future.

finishing ROS does not mean that we're finished with work. right away after 22nd, we all had to struggle in finishing our logbook (the folio) and journal. the journal is meant for everyday log that records the happenings at school. definitely a last minute work, i nearly broke my hand upon writing the last entry of the journal. it was very crazy and the logbook is acceptably thick, even thicker than an engineering book of any type. it was madness all around. i feel so relieved to finish the whole thing and i hope to gain a better experience for phase II of teaching practice, where i will be teaching for real.

a teacher can change the world

2009-05-15T18:04:00.003+08:00

i did a relief for Sivik & Kewarganegaraan in a year 4 class, particularly the last class of the batch. i don't have to mention the state of the class as you know that the last class usually is the least smart class and most of the time, the low achievers reside there. i have expected a challenge and the students really lit up my temper. they are sometimes viewed by some teachers as helpless but believing that every child has a potential as given by Allah, i refused to agree on that view. i believe that they are pearls that will shine, provided that the teacher has the patience and will power to stand their attitude and train them to become successful in their life.

i left the class in a fury as i couldn't stand their disobedience. but afterward, things changed 360 degrees. immediately after that class, i stayed in the library and the students from that class came with their teacher. it was kind of tiring to see them again but my feelings of fury definitely changed as some of them sat on the same table as me and start reading from big books. it touches me when listening to the rhythm of them reading. some of them can barely read. they are very slow readers and i dare not to scold them. i can see that they struggled to read but never gave up. i automatically helped them through the reading and asked them to read in front of me. looking at them struggling to spell and read at the age of ten, i wondered how did i end up where i am. i didn't remember of such struggle and felt pity for them. i stayed by their side and attentively helped them read. i totally forgot about how mad i was at them and just felt sorry for them. at that time i realised that if i managed to help them become one bit better at reading, i may have changed their life course. as i mentioned, the one word i teach them reading will definitely make a difference. who knows that those children will be somebody great in the future and it all started with things like what i just did today. i hope that they will not stop trying to improve and i wish for a better future for them.

what happened today has made me become more passionate to work as a teacher. being a teacher trainee i have realised the big responsibility that a teacher has to bear. there is so much a teacher can do in shaping a better and functional generation or in ruining one. and there is also so much that a teacher can create in determining one's future. look at how powerful a teacher is.. definitely, teachers possess the power to change the world..

my family: continue to expand

2009-05-13T00:48:00.009+08:00

Adam bin Mohd Tarmizi
10th May 2009

not long after the arrival of my first nephew Ahmad Faid bin Mohd Zulhilmi, i received another great news on sunday. i welcome my second nephew who was born on sunday at about 8 pm in Kelantan. my 3rd brother Mohd Tarmizi is officially a father now and can join my other brother Mohd Zulhilmi in the club of nurturing babies. haha.. the cute baby named Adam is the 17th member of our big family and the third grandchild of my parents. i can sense a merry Eid celebration this year full with babies' cry. what a scene to anticipate. =) congratulations to my sis-in-law Noor Syuhada for being a mother. Athirah and Ahmad Faid now has a gang of three to play and cry together. so cute! let's go to jusco to buy baby's products again! hehe

ROS: so far so challenging

2009-05-08T17:27:00.010+08:00

.

the school orientation programme at SKGU has been going on for two weeks now. i can't believe that it has been halfway to the end. for the past two weeks, things have been quite interesting actually. i was not as busy as my friends at other schools who had to do more than relief and our actual ROS tasks (which are finding the info about school management and writing daily journal). i can say that i'm pretty lucky to only have to go to classes and do some reliefs and some other small jobs. i'm not as stressed as they are, although i do experience some uneasiness and stress too. as for today, i have been asked to replace absent and busy teachers and teach in the classroom nearly everyday. it is quite challenging to be true, but i like it. i love stepping into classes and interacting with the pupils. and for the record, there was no single day in these two weeks where i didn't enter any class at all. certainly i will be entering classes to do relief and observation. when other friends at other schools are whining about having to do more relief than they think they should, i just smile and say that i'm ok with it. i don't mind to do relief for one whole week. on monday 4th, all the three of us did a massive relief from morning to the afternoon. no doubt it was tremendously tiring, challenging and hard, but i really gained some precious experiences and had fun doing it.

the admin of the school has been giving fair co-operation to us interns. on the scale of one to ten, i can put the school admin and teachers at the scale of 5 in terms of assisting us in this internship. not so much helped got, and not so much warmth felt. just so-so. my Co-operating Teacher (CT) is also the assistant head teacher of the school. you can imagine how busy she is and how much does she really put into this whole thing of assisting me through the internship. the way i see it, i have been the one assisting. i have been covering much for her in her English classes. nonetheless, we keep ourselves going and have been trying to find the info on school management on our own. luckily, i have my mother to refer to since she herself is a headmistress in a primary school. the teachers, at the beginning i thought that they were just wants to shoot us with their eyes but day by day, i realised that they are just alright. only a little few who just can't seem to smile back to us. i don't get their problem. we're just interns and trainees at the school. ape kes nak jeling2?? huh.. luckily i only have to bear with those faces for only two more weeks. lantak ko laa! huhu.. fitting in to the school environment really takes time.

surely it's tiring to go into classrooms everyday and teach subjects that are not from my field (English) but seeing the faces of the pupils, it keeps me going on. the pupils are one good reason to get me keep coming to the school. they are one source of motivation i would say. looking at their faces lit up with the spirit to learn, it really boosted my passion to be a good teacher. i definitely need to learn more on how to handle different kinds of pupil and to best deliver lessons. i like it when being called "teacher" and "cikgu" by those wonderful children. an indescribable feeling rushes through my vains everytime i heard pupils call me those. it's the mixture of disbelief, satisfaction and pleasure perhaps. a big amount of orang asli children are amongst my pupils. it is a pleasant feeling to see them willing to go to school and learn. i have some involvement with the orang asli community in the past and i hope that i can go on with that by helping and educating the orang asli children at the school.

this exposure has given me the real taste of being a real teacher in the future. i certainly understand now that being a teacher is not a child's play. it is NOT EASY BEING A TEACHER. mind you, those who say that teaching is like a piece of cake and look at the teaching profession as a last resort, THINK AGAIN. it is so hard to work as a teacher. you have to think through so many things before you can carry out a lesson and you have to tackle so many problems while ensuring your students understand the lesson. educating and shaping the attitude of today's children are heavy responsibilities thrusted upon a teacher's shoulder. there's a great deal of stress in the journey of being a teacher. i can go on and then it would sound like my LE4000 paper. huhu.. may the rest of this SOP go nice and smooth.

the pupils of SKGU

slumdog millionaire craze

2009-04-28T18:33:00.011+08:00

suddenly i grew some craze about the film Slumdog Millonnaire after watching it for several times. this flick has made very high achievement at the Oscar, Academy, People's Choice and some other high-class award events in the world. it is not a surprise for such a story got very strong audience and excelled at the oscar since it is such an interesting hindi movie with a different touch. although some would claim it a British movie, since the writer, director and producer are a bunch of britts, i prefer to call it a hindi movie all along since the story is all about people in India, the settings are all across India and it also portrayed Indians' mindsets, culture, custom, history and life images.

the storyline is undeniably interesting. that is the strongest point of the film that captures million of hearts all around the world. it is about this Indian Muslim boy named Jamal who had a rough and kind of sad life in the slums of Mumbai end up winning the "Who Wants To Be a Millionnaire" gameshow and managed to grab 20 million rupees. it is a story about life, pain, love, hardship, trust, determination, hope and destiny. i felt pity to the protagonist for having to face so much in his life at a very tender age (he's only 18 in the story) and getting the win at the end with such hardship. the win he got is incomparable to what he wants the most, which is to find his long lost love. i was touched with all the hardships and all the injustice Jamal experienced. the character is so cute and lovely, and that applies too to the child actor who brings Jamal to life (ayush). and the music score is soo great. it is so refreshing. i like Jai Ho the most, and that is what you're listening to everytime you visit this blog. the song is about passion, life, dream and victory as the exclamation "jai ho" is usually said upon achieving success, as what is portrayed in some hindi movies (correct me if i'm wrong). another thing that really touches me is that jamal had no one else to turn to after being chased out by his only brother and he continued his life all on his own. i can get to my tears when family issue is brought up. jamal is so pitiful and doesn't seem like a likely hero. bravo to all the crew and cast of the movie and may more story of life like this will be produced and cherished. jai ho~

jamal, his friend latika and brother salim while living in a syndicate of beggars

jamal got no clue, he just knows the answers from his life experiences

jamal is taken aback after being announced as a millionaire,
money is not what he chases

the child actors and actresses of slumdog millionaire

ROS commences

2009-04-27T19:03:00.007+08:00

today i started my teaching practice phase I. it is named Rancangan Orientasi Sekolah (ROS) and designated to be conducted for 4 weeks. it was alright despite the condition of my body, which is in a flu and feverish state. the school which i and my fellow interns (ain & hajar) have been assigned to is Sekolah Kebangsaan Gombak Utara. we met the headmistress, the GPKs, teachers and the pupils too. for the first meeting today, it was just a brief introduction to the school and we just roamed around the school compound to see the environment. the school is pretty wide and she has two sessions, whch are the morning and afternoon session. i felt like lying down, because my head is soooo heavy but i held on and the smiles on the pupils faces really kept me going. i forgot that i have a fever when i step into one class today. only my first day in school and i got to do some relief. haha.. it was fun though. we got pretty much nothing to do despite the fact that ROS interns should always be occupied with jobs. huhu.. i tried to put a good-natured face because first impression is everything. tomorrow i hope more work waiting for us so that we won't waste time sitting around awkwardly in the staffroom. =)

Bina Insan Guru Camp 2009

2009-04-26T14:43:00.028+08:00

after finishing my exam on the 12th april, i got no days to waste. just one brief day off, then i had to attend a camp that combines the module of BTN and module set by the Bahagian Pendidikan Guru (our 'beloved' daddy). it is a kind of BTN camp, but teachers' version. it is a requirement for us TESLians thus no one is excused from it, including the chicken pox bearer Hilwal and the scrutch-occupied Kasyah. huhu.. pity them for having to attend such rough activity with not-so-well bodies. nevertheless, we all went off to the infamous D'Perkasa Camp (formerly known as Rebutia camp) right here in gombak on wednesday. earlier bofere, we had the lecture part at our very own lt3 in insted.

~DAY ONE 15 apr 2009~
on the rainy but not gloomy morning, (cheh ape daa intro mcm karangan form 5) we departed from iium chartering a bus and a van. upon arriving, i sensed that the place is somewhat close to the location where i lost my dear initial camera (sob). it is at sungai pisang. memories of that dear camera rushed into my head and i felt like spurring to the spot where i believed i had lost it and try to relocate it, if i ever get lucky. but nay, that thought is rejected first hand by my friends with the stand that there is no point in doing such action as i got my self a new one and it is not certain that i will find it. plus, following the heavy rain the night before, the stream was going crazy with extra water and rushing current thus it would be very dangerous to get across the river. i came back to my senses after looking at the stream and keep on focusing on the camp instead.

the camp was nice and clean. after some briefing, we got 'checked in' to our exclusive "apartments" (tents) right behind the hall. i was ecstatic to find myself in the tent but most of my friends hated the idea very much. i don't care. i like adventure and have been itching to go camping for quite a time. finally got the chance, felt like jumping. and i did. hehe..

the tent

then we started the modul by some indoor LDK. it was rather usual and we got to sing some nasheed songs which i was not familiar with and after singing them with our own tunes and styles (we turned the nasheed songs to rap, haha), we got lectured for it. duh, you just don't expect everyone to know nasheed songs, especially the latest ones. me, especially. i have stopped listening to nasheed after five consecutive years listening ONLY to nasheed in my schooldays. i do listen to certain songs, just raihan's and hijjaz's. then the core message is about building a righteous character of a teacher. caryying the label TEACHER on our forehead, we are required to bear certain character that is compatible and necessary in doing that. certainly i have pondered for a while about my character as a teacher-to-be. there are some alteration and betterment to be carried out for sure. hehe

for the afternoon session, we had some outdoor activity in the ice-breaking session. we played some modules that required teamwork, thorough thinking and physical fitness. i would like to highlight on the first activity we did which is the going throuh the flying fox trail. once more i got excited and rushed to do it amongst the first ones. before we could actually fly like the fox, we had to climb up some trees and go through some obstacles and it was scaaaaary. scary i told you. the excited me had become scared. i shivered and sweated along the way. it was very high up and we got only the safety hook and some line to keep us hanged on the trees, just in case. i took a long time to climb but when i reached the final section, i became brave and impatient to finish the trail by doing the flying fox. definitely, the feeling when cruising the line from a very high point is indescribable. i was very thrilled to be doing it. it was soooo fun and exciting it got me screaming like a girl. i had never screamed like that in my whole life. my friends got confused and surprised to hear me screamed that girly. haha.. being the least ladylike person, it is less expected from me to react in such a way upon doing the flying fox. huhu.. one friend even joked by saying that to find your real sexual orientation, you got to do flying fox (like i did), haha. just a joke. i know i am a true female through and through and proud to be one. don't worry. haha.. it was a very nice experience. i really overcame my fear and did it.

excited to start the climb

it was so scary, huhu

flying fox

very high up, very challenging

then, we went through the next checkpoint which requires us to swing using a rope and to land on a big tire and we had to squeeze ourselves to stand on the same tire. the 17 of us cramped ourselves on two tires and at that time, no matter how sweaty you were, you just hugged each other to save the team. it was fun and funny at the same time as we are forced to be really close to each other, despite the grudge or the hard feelings we might have for some. huhu.. we were really forced to leave all that behind and start bonding for the sake of the team.

swing like a tarzan, huhu

cramped on

happy after finishing all three checkpoints

we also bonded to do the third task which i am not that ecstatic to talk bout here. huhu.. let's just say that it was a challenge of transferring all the teammates across one small pool using some pieces of wood. it was a tiring day, really. the meal we had were nice and filling. that night, once again we did indoor LDK and this time, we had to compete by building our own university with our own vision and theme by using carrot, bell pepper, kambas, sweet potato and a good amount of candy. it was fun to put our creativity and imagination to test. my group won the competition.

building our dream university

our fancy university with her proud developers

bell pepper mosque (with my contribution, hehe)

afterward, we had to tear up some pinang fruit by only using our mere hands. it was very hard and i gave up. i let my other friends finish it. after some gruesome hour of trying to tear up the pinang clean, we were given one coconut, the ripe one, for real and do the same thing. we were all tired and sleepy but i accepted the challenge counting the fact that i was amongst the ones that know how to tear up a coconut and actually used to do it. not everyone knows and had the experience of tearing up coconut. we fixed the coconut only using our magical and powerful hands until we got the tempurung. my hands definitely hurt because of that. it is crazy though, we i think back about it. one friend pointed out that, that was the outcome of us when didn't get connected to the internet for solid 24 hours.. haha.. and it was also an outcome of holding our sleeptime. we were all very sleepy indeed while tearing all that palm fruits. owh.. the activity was just a symbol to show us that we can do pretty much everything if we really set our heart into it. we then fled happily to our exclusive tents to manage to grab some sleep at last.

the finishing product

~DAY TWO 16 apr 2009~
the next day started with an adventure, namely jungle trekking. as all had expected, we are required to pass through some rough trails and dirty ourselves to the skin. i fancy adventure myself so i just enjoyed the walk through the jungle. but the activity was lacking something. no serious thing that we actually learnt from it especially when it was accompanied by inexperienced facilitators. facilitators, talk about them. i hate some of them. huhu.. before finishing the trekking, we were required to go through an obstacle and note here, i hated it so much. there is no point of us walking through a pool of mud and water, soaked ourselves to the head and crying out our name and place of birth. it was not fun either. the facilitator seemed to have a great time laughing at us and that pissed me even more. i hate it because that activity ruined my shoes, my socks and treksuit. huh. we finishes our trekking with a visit to the river which then has been clean and not really dangerous. we spent some time there cleaning up and having fun 'mandi sungai'. we shared a good time singing some songs, with our voices fighting over the sound of the stream.

in the jungle

me =)

really dirty

back at the camp, we cleaned up and grab some long nap. we all lay down and sleep until 4 pm. i can't believe that we were allowed to do that since we're in a camp and have a schedule to follow. huhu.. it was kind of fun though, to sleep together one batch like that. it was a rare scene to behold. huhu.. after waking up that afternoon, we played some games to make us awake. once again, the spirit of teamwork is called and we had to finish them in the honour of the team. there was this game where we were splitted into three teams and we had to build a country. the mute team was just giving the design of the construction and i, among the normal ones had to order the blind team to do the construction for us. it was pure challenging ordering blind ones to do the physical task as they cannot see a thing. it also challenged my temper and i nearly throwing a fit during the game. finally, we managed to finish the construction although it was really hard. all the games are just a symbol to what we will face in the real working world. as a teacher/goverment servant (the blind ones), we need to take orders from the admin and perform the task. its hard but not much reponsibility. as the admin (the normal ones), we are having the hard time thinking about the order and the challenges. as the policy makers (the mute ones), we can just give the design without the power to say anything. it is up to the admin to manage the organisation. the game really put us into the shoes of different parties in an organisation and we really learnt something from it.

that night after some nice barbecue dinner, we set off for the grand activity, which is the night walk. i like to experience the activity but it never failed to get me shivered. upon thinking about walking in the darkness of the jungle and the fact that many other creatures would be watching us just sent chill to my bones. i felt inferior and kept thinking about Allah's power to create the world and how we should cling only onto Him and believe in His power no matter what. it was very tiring. the very long journey in the dark really got me quiet. i notice that i had never been that quiet in my life. i kept being silent and serious the whole time. we climbed, walked through trees and leaves, and even slid through the jungle dirt to get to the last check point. we end up sitting in the creek, at 3.30 am. i don't have to tell you how cold it was. we got to sujud into the water and do some taubah. we then were required to do some forgive and forget session, and mind you, our feet were still in the water. yes, we did do the part, but do i really forgive and forget? the answer is simple. not really. it is hard to forgive someone in just a flash. it is even harder to forget the deeds. forgiving takes time. it really does. the very cold and freezing session ended at about 4.20 am and i couldn't wait to sleep. we slept right after we reached the camp.

~DAY THREE 17 apr 2009~
the next morning, after sleeping for the second phase (after subuh), we started our module quite late and it was the "menara maruah" challenge. we were required to build a tower from pvc pipe cylinders by stucking them up one by one until it stands up like a tall pole. we had to support the tower by attaching four lines on each pipe and the other end of the lines was hold by a member. all 49 of us were involved in this seemed-impossible mission. i was shocked to see us doing the whole thing. i couldn't believe my eyes that we got 8 pipes up already. by the time to put my pipe, we had some trouble and the tower crashes down before we even got to put mine (no9) up. it was tiring and really challenging though. everyone is crucial in the process and every point of view needed to be considered. different point of views can either secure or break the tower. nonetheless, after only managed to put up 8 pipes, we sit down nad talked about it. again, it was all very symbolic and meaningful. we need to pull ourselves together in order to make things work. i never expected that we could actually do it. therefore, i felt really proud of my friends to be able to make the tower high. good job TESL cohort 3!

the tower in a glimpse

hold the line! keep it straight!

what a scene to behold, seconds before it started to collapse

the three gories, the one who held the base of the tower

for the last activity, we got to one last singing session and this time i kept quiet to respect the songs. we had our last LDK and presented it. all in all, the camp was a success. the modules were interesting and fresh to me. it was good to learn from. i had a good experience during the whole camp. it was fun to have an outing together with my clan like that after a long time. it was sure tiring, and left my face burnt and my skin itchy. i would love another adventure next time and let us hope that there will be no more irritating facilitators involved. haha

the camp is one nice place to take pictures, huhu

and so we're doomed..

2009-04-23T22:34:00.007+08:00

i have anticipate very much of our stay in melaka soon. and like returning to hell, we are required to stay INSIDE the st*p*d college compound again. i think we all (the TESL Cohort 3 clan) are pretty much infuriated by the news. what have been dreamt before as a less-stressful life there (to stay in our own rent houses) is thrashed down the bin. no staying outside the college, we all have to face the hardships and tension plus stupidity plus insanity like we used to face 2 years ago. seriously, i loathe it very much. curse you big time, dear college admin and whoever that is involved in this 'beautiful' plan of dooming us all over again.

why can't you leave us alone?? please let us have a peaceful final year. leaving iium is one thing, and facing a bad life in melaka all over again is worse. duh.. i can sense the mental stress we're going to experience. owh, how i hope to burn the st*p*d gate surrounding the hostel. how i hope to smash that CCTV at the guard post. and how i hope i can escape all the torture and mean words that will definitely be thrown to us every single day. gosh!

O Allah the Most Great, please help me to be the strongest i can, to face the life at that goddamn place once again.

is this the parting?

2009-04-10T13:08:00.004+08:00

not yet.
i still have 6 weeks left here.
still got one more paper to go and a four-days-Bina-Insan-Guru camp before a quick break and then start my teaching practice phase 1 on 27th. but yes, that time is little.

i do want to stay here because the place i'm going back is not a desirable place to be. i hate the fact that we're leaving. not that this place is that great, i just think it's better and perhaps less stressful. no need to anticipate the challenges and hard times we are going to face once we're back there, i know it very well that we will suffer as much as we had experience before. owh, snap.

i hope that i can make full use of the last 6 weeks i have left.
also hope to create beautiful parting memories to cherish.
it's hard to do the parting, but what to do??
i can't deny the system.
i need to go when it's time to go..

*sighs*
*very sad smiley*

my family ~updated~

2009-03-31T19:07:00.007+08:00

"it is a big family to begin with, and with the expansion we total up to 15 persons now. and the number is growing. perhaps, we shall have another addition this week. insha-Allah. =)"

indeed, we have another addition today. i got a news just now that my sis-in-law has given birth to a baby boy and he is my first nephew! yay!! now i'm an aunt of one niece (lovely Athirah) and one nephew. the newborn baby boy is yet to be named. congratulations to my brother Banglang for officially becoming a father. chukha handa oppa ya.. =) now we have 16 persons in our big family. alhamdulillah..

Ahmad Faid bin Mohd Zulhilmi
31st March 2009

Athirah now has a cousin. =)

my family

2009-03-29T10:54:00.020+08:00

this time around, i shall introduce to thee my kin. it is a big family to begin with, and with the expansion we total up to 15 persons now. and the number is growing. perhaps, we shall have another addition this week. insha-Allah. =)

My nucleus family

it is consisting of 8 siblings. my parents are blessed with five sons and three daughters.
i'm the fifth one and the 2nd daughter.

My eldest brother, Mohd Taufik with his bride, Siti Aisyah (my sis-in-law).
They got married recently in December.

My big sister, Huraizah, the 2nd child of the family. She is happily married to Azlan (my bro-in-law) and blessed with a beautiful daughter, Siti Athirah.

My second brother, Mohd Zulhilmi is the 3rd child. He is married to Fazlina (my sis-in-law), and they are expecting their first child now.

Next is my third brother, Mohd Tarmizi who is the fourth child of the family. He got married to Noor Syuhada (my sis-in-law) and this couple is also expecting child no1.

Then comes me. =)

Next is my younger sister, Halimaton, the sixth one.

Going on to the seventh child, my younger brother Muhammad Zulhusna.

And the youngest, Mohammad Zulkhairi.
as you can notice, he is a special child, with Down syndrome.
He is very special indeed. =)

Save the last for the best, here are my parents,
Encik Mohd Baharudin & Puan Hasnah.

amak+abah, sarang hae..

An Arabic saying quotes:
"Kulli syai'in yashtari illal um wal ab"
bearing the meaning:
You can buy everything (in this world) except for mother and father.

gotta be somebody for me??

2009-03-29T10:03:00.005+08:00

for all the reasons under the sun, i want to post this song and tell the message it brings. it should be clear once we read the lyrics. and i have to say that i like the wordings. we have to believe what Allah has promised us. this song is a constant reminder to me whenever i whine about this issue. hehe.. to all of you out there whose minds are also bugged with this subject, it is just a matter of time. just be a little more patient and wait.. =)

Gotta Be Somebody by Nickelback

This time I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life
The one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I'll be waiting for the real thing
I'll know it by the feeling
The moment when we're meeting
We'll play out like a scene straight off the silver screen
So I'll be holding my breath
Right up till the end
Until that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with

'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that

'Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
Is somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Tonight out on the street out in the moonlight
And d**n it this feels too right
It's just like déjà vu
Me standing here with you
So I'll be holding my breath
Could this be the end?
Is it that moment when
I find the one that I spend forever with?

'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that

'Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
Is somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

You can't give up
When you're looking for a diamond in a rough
Because you never know when it shows up
Make sure you're holding on
'Cause it could be the one
The one you're waiting on

'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me
Oh...

Nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
Is somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Nobody wants to be the last one there (when you're looking for)
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares (because you never know)
Is somebody else that feels the same somewhere? (make sure you're holding on)
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

meet ushika

2009-03-25T22:06:00.009+08:00

i came across this name while reading a newspaper the other day.
while pronouncing the name, it felt quite funny and can't stop myself from laughing.

it's definitely because the name is USHIKA. i can't avoid myself from associating that name with my dear friend eyu because eyu often write her name EYU SHIKA (fancying the ninja character from Naruto) or SHIKA EYU. these two names sounds pretty much the same, right? hahaha..

and what makes things even funnier is that USHIKA is the name of a cow-looking billy goat. it's a goat!! *LOL* this billy goat is found in Japan and it's special since it resembles a typical dairy cow. eyu must be 'thrilled' to know that her favourite penname belongs to a billy goat... hahahaha

USHIKA = EYU SHIKA ????
*ROFL*

it's killing me!!

2009-03-19T17:52:00.008+08:00

this week has been hell for us (tesl 3rd year clan).
if a football player scored 3 consecutive goals, it would be called Hat-trick. what about us who have to submit 4 assignments (more than three) consecutively?? we should call it "HAT-TRICK plus one". haha.. from monday until thursday this week, we have to finish and submit FOUR heavy assignments and all are killing me..
the best part is, everybody seems to struggle on them until the very last minute. huhu.. we are so darn busy at the moment.

it's hard on us.. we know that the semester is going to an end and that explains why all the tedious jobs of completing written assignments are to be due this week. but there are still one or two to go.. *sigh* my right shoulder is badly hurt and if i can hire a chiropractor to massage my shoulder, i would do that so that the pain of this stressed out and overused shoulder can be eased.. not forgetting to mention that i have not been sleeping normally these several weeks.. no quality sleep for me. huhu.. averagely, i only manage to sleep for about 3 hours per day since three weeks ago.

oh my.. it's killing me..

dedicating a weekend to orang asli

2009-03-10T15:36:00.014+08:00

it has been a tiring weekend for i had gone to the orang asli village in pulau indah for a programme under JASA in collaboration with MAIS. the programme with the name "kembara asli II" is quite a tough programme to me. it was short, brief but full with objectives. we went there of course to spread the Islamic teaching (da'wah) but in a very subtle way since the majority of the villagers are still non-believers. we also aimed at helping the orang asli community in terms of education, self-esteem building and such in this outreach programme. i like to dedicate myself to this kind of healthy activity.

so we went there with the total of 30 participants on friday noon, 6th march 2009 . after some hiccups, we finally get there at 5 pm and started working as we have promised to give our best to the orang asli community there. i straight away went into action as the Head of Catering committee. my job scope is mainly to be in the kitchen compound, help the food preparation and serving. it was fun to work once again in the catering committee but the experience is different from what i've experience in the previous programme (kg sg berua, hulu terengganu). it's definitely different due to the fact that now i'm the head and the surroundings are different. we even have the MAIS officers to cook for us. i rather felt awkward working at first and that resulted in some not so scrumptious events like lateness in serving food for the VIP. then i realised that it is not an easy job thus i tried to work harder and dedicate all my will to the job. it was tiring but fun. it is certainly a serene feeling watching people eat and indulging the food with happy faces. i felt full already when watching the orang asli eating with their whole heart. i felt happy to serve them. the villagers are quiet participative, active and outward. they liked it very much to have us there and offer them every kind of activities. i was relieved to know that most of the children there are constant school-goers and can read well. they are not as backward as i imagined.

children of kampung org asli pulau indah

eat your heart out

then i of course didn't have the time to roam around and get into the activities others were conducting since i was very busy at the kitchen. i just made some precious moments to get out from the kitchen once in a while to just visit and have a glance at the activities like children's module, sports activities, opening ceremony and craft class. but i never let go the chance of joining the chicken dance slot. it was so fun to dance the chicken dance together with the villagers. then i was proud with us all for working with all our heart. all the committee, namely module, sports & welfare, prep & tech, special task, prog coordinator, D&I, and mainboard have worked so hard to make the programme a success. although some problems ocurred and changes made, we managed to made it through. what a great team we are. hehe.. thanks to all for giving me the trust to lead the catering committee.

helping with the food preparation

posing with craft souvenirs

there were some new experiences i got there and the most appealing one is witnessing the reversion of a man back to Islam. it was a new experience for me as i never get involved into any reversion ceremony before. it was a moment of truth and i got goosebumps everywhere. and also it was great to experience the traditional orang asli dance by the name "sewang" and this ritual is a must in every village that JASA visited. it was fun to watch. i love learning others' culture.

reversion to islam ceremony ~ ALLAHU AKBAR

sewang

i was hoping to join more JASA programme in the future but that seems impossible since my time here in iium is about to expire and i will be too busy to join any activity for the short time i have left here before i leave this place. (waaaaa!!)

6 years.. too long to study??

2009-02-28T23:05:00.010+08:00

it has been 4 years and 8 months since i first enter this tesl course.
and there is about one more year to finish it. time flies....
but doesn't it feel long? perhaps quite long since my other friends of the same age have already passed some levels of their studies while i'm still stuck here, not even near to graduating.. i have to undergo this SIX years of study.. is it too long??
my family seems to forget when i will finish. they keep asking every year and i'm still doing the same course..

often my superior siblings ask.
"awak bile abes?"
"lambat lg.. 2010.."

once my cousins asked.
"dpt posting mane?"
"blum. blaja pun xabes lg.."

i remember my uncle asked me once.
"brape tahun blaja?"
"enam tahun."
"umang ai! ekau kuar nnt jd guru bosar ko apo??"

people don't expect undergoing a teacher training course could be that long. i told them many times that my case is special. but they seems to forget it. huhu.. sometimes i feel old when going to classes with juniors as the majority. i feel like i've been left behind when compared to my school-friends. they have experienced workplaces, the real world and even got to further studies into the second degree. owh, i'm tired of waiting.. not that i don't know the hikmah of this long road of preparing myself to be a teacher. it is just me wanting to say that, 6 years of study IS LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG. don't you think so??

here are some pictures showing me & my fellow tesl friends from 2004 - 2008.

2004-pygmalion, 2005-tesl language camp at mpkb, 2006-hindi dance performance, 2007-gala dinner, 2008-cohort photo session at iium (far top)

roaming around KL roads

2009-02-27T00:18:00.013+08:00

as the day to submit our action research project gets nearer, we realise that we have so much things to do. the most important part is reviewing the right and adequate literature in order to get things started (to finish the research proposal report). after several weeks of forgetfulness about the project we began our search for literature again. this time, ani decides to take us all to the national library in KL with hopes that we may find helpful materials. all the members eyu, norlie, yanti and myself agree to hunt for the wishful literature. off we went on wednesday afternoon, after signing the mere attendance of CALL class (yay!) riding eyu's car. it is of my expectation that no one really knows of where we are heading to. ani got some clues, but only if she gets there by train and taxi. i myself, i never went there. so, count me out of help. norlie and yanti aren't familiar with KL roads as well and eyu, who usually has a poor sense of direction indoors but good at the outdoors are as helpless. instead of going direct to the destination (which is believed to be near taman tasik titiwangsa and istana budaya), we guessed the lane to be taken and end up lost in KL roads. hahaha... but what interesting is that neither of us got frustrated by it. we instead enjoyed the lost and changed the destination. hehe.. we ended up visiting midvalley megamall and spent the afternoon there. everyone was smiling when we at least reached a destination. it was fun and amusing to go through the same road twice. haha... we took it as roaming through KL and at least we got to see dataran merdeka (first time for me & yanti) twice! haha..

from good intentions of going to the library to find books, we changed our course to shooping and dining at midvalley. at least we brought home some books for eyu and i bought ourselves a pictorial book and novel respectively. we head home at 8.40 pm and amazingly the journey home was at first a lost too. we drove away into damansara and ttdi to be specific. huhu... what a journey. we had our group discussion inside the car on the way home. it was a very fun and funny experience. eyu had told her ibu that we're going to the library and in fact, we didn't. haha... so, the moral of the story is, do not roam around KL without map in your hands. you will never find Perpustakaan Negara. hahaha

boycott: should we? must we?

2009-02-26T22:31:00.011+08:00

the world is taken aback by the violent attack of the Zionist regime on Palestine somewhat two months ago. everyone regardless of religion is outraged by the war. the world responded with anger towards Jews. then, everywhere around the world people are shouting, "STOP THE WAR ON GAZA!" , "FREE PALESTINE!" , "SAVE PALESTINE" and not forgetting "BOYCOTT ISRAEL!". the Muslim society especially is urged to take some serious action including boycotting Israeli products and also American (the infamous ally of israel) products as well. most muslim responded to the urge and started to boycott all Israeli and American products and the fight againts Israel is going on in a rapid and strong manner. little by little, people are distancing away from mcdonalds, kfc, pepsi, maybelline, and all the brands under the list to be boycotted for the brands have been known to support Israeli army. people are going for alternatives instead. although the choice is not of the same good quality, Muslim society is insisting on keep on boycotting for that is the least we muslim could do to help our brothers there. the boycott seems to have some adverse impact. the economy of those companies of the affected brands is deteriorating.

here in Malaysia, the war is not really felt and that is why not all poeple gives the same respond. eventhough mcdonalds restaurants are getting empty everyday, there are still people going and spending their money on the boycotted brands. campaign however is keep on going. posters and messages are pasted and forwarded respectively here and there. as ignorant as people usually are, many still ignore the calling. one of the reasons being said that they still want to use the products because of their quality. products of the alternative brands are known to be not as good as the famous brands. and some still act like they do not care and keep on standing on the stance that "i can lead my life as i wish and mind our own bussines". sad to say, i was among them. to be truthful, even after the war in Gaza, i keep on buying boycotted products because i could not bare buying some mediocre stuffs with less satisfactory effects. yes, as consumers we are subject to purchase and use the products of our liking. but today, i realise that that is not something that we should do. after consulting my respected ustaz, Dr. Kabuye, i began to understand the underlining meaning of all the boycotting act. it is not like i dont know, it is just me being ignorant. Dr. Kabuye lectures me on the significance of the boycotting act.

choosing not to boycott is unislamic as it helps the enemy (Jews) to attack other Muslims

leave the boycotted products if you can still live without it. you can still live your life as you would normally do and you can still look for alternatives. life is all about making the right choice.

forget about the tastefulness of the said products, think more of our Muslim brothers' suffering.

if you cannot go into wars and fight, this is the least you can do before reciting doa (as a last resort).

if it is difficult for you to stop using the products, reduce the usage little by little. new changes are undeniably hard to grasp if done abruptly. so, go slow and reduce the amount of money you spend for those products day by day. soon, you will get to the stage where you feel fine to live without those products.

dont worry about causing the employees of the companies of the said products to later become jobless (due to the big loss of their companies) because they still have people helping them here. our poor Muslim brothers in Gaza have no one else to turn to if not us..

all Muslims should be together in fighting against the Zionist and should not take the stance of being nafsi nafsi (selfish).

things like computers and softwares that we have no other alternatives to choose from (non-american of non-israeli made) are still can be used as it is the state of darurah. whether we like it or not, we have to use it. boycotting does not apply here.

there. after a long explanation, i understand why do we need to support the boycotting. all products of boycotted brand that i own right now should be used until they run out of stock and then i should start looking for other alternatives. dear Muslim brothers, let us not be ignorant and please care for our ummah. our Prophet (saw) would be very sad if we cannot commit even this one act of fighting the kufar. Allahu Akbar. may we all be blessed and may Allah save our Muslim brothers in Palestine.

and the journey begins..

2009-02-24T23:56:00.004+08:00

welcome to "edennyo avenue"!

since 2006, i have not attended myself to any blog activity and now suddenly the crave to have a new blog strikes out. i feel so much inspired when viewing some friends' blogs. then came the idea of creating "edennyo avenue" and this post is to mark my beginning to the world of blogs.. it feels so good to be back! feel free to visit and comment at anytime. =)

life is a journey and this avenue is just one of hundreds means along the journey. hang on, buckle up and let us cruise through it as the journey begins..