all along since i first open this avenue, the posts i did were mostly based on my study, the struggles i faced in my training to be a real teacher. there are ups and downs and now, it all has ended. i have waited for a good long grueling tough and wonderful six years to get to the finish line and finally i reached it! i've been waiting since the day i learn ABC, to say this:

I HAVE GRADUATED!! yeeeeehaaaa~

i am of utmost happy to finish this in one piece after surviving typical questions like ''bile nak abes blaja?" and "berapa tahun lagi belajar?". it pays to wait that long. all the hardships, all the tears, all the disheartening moments, all the laughter, all the sweat, and all the memories have made me who i am today. i shall never forget those. the six years of dwelling together with other 48 girls is quite an experience of a lifetime.

however, this graduation that i have been looking forward to the whole time has a price to pay. friendship that i made through out this 6 years span is now put at test. we have to bid farewell to each other. it has to happen in order for us to start a new life. i accept it but let me tell you, it is not easy to be apart from friends that have accompanied me through out the journey. i am really going to miss them a lot.

we have been through all ups and downs together from the first time we met in the maktab back in june 2004, then 2 years of foundation that has been a lot of fun, then taaruf week at iium gombak in 2007 which has been a turning point for us all, then back a year at maktab which i personally hate the most of it but amazingly we survived the journey until mid 2008. and then life turned its course and we have a chance to live differently, more to our liking once we embarked on the journey at iium. it was rather the most peaceful and the most wonderful time we ever had in this journey i think. living in that gombak campus somehow has given us a break that we all deserve from all the sorrow and tribulation experienced at maktab. we began to know more about each other, we learnt more about life and became adults in the process. then comes 2009 where we had to head back to the maktab, much to our disgust, to endure one final year that was tiring as expected. the encounter with the stupid admin really tested us (we are no strangers to all the confrontations). nevertheless, we once again survived with old scar hidden within our smiles. then came 2010, we endured the practicum to get to the end of our journey. we then parted for a month and were called back to live a final life together for three-weeks KISSM (kursus induksi sistem saraan malaysia) back at the maktab and it ended last month (june 2010). it was a refreshing and very nice final moments we had together. look at how far we have gone. how wide we have expanded. how mature we have been. how beautiful all that is.

the 2+1+2+1 years of study has been a headache to explain to people but there you are.

after six years, i noticed that i changed a lot. i have become louder in terms of voicing out my thoughts, braver, tougher (non-literally), more hard-headed than ever, wiser i must say, more rebellious than before, and much more presentable (look-wise). hehe. thanks to all my dear friends, dear parents for your support, and the government for enabling me to go through all of those. *sigh of relief~*

i itched to post an update for this blog but time and responsibilities come in my way. so much things going on, so hectic life. it was crazy dealing with the micro or macroteaching madness, groupwork, visual art folio and what not. plus the craziiiiiiiiiiinessssss of the LECTURERS that we need to handle with thousands of curse and bitter face doubled the reason to not putting me in a state where i feel free to scribble something here. gosh it was d*mn hectic!

place to do my practicum has come to knowledge now and it is situated near durian tunggal. i m looking forward to start the second phase of practicum and i feel scared too. this is one final chance to prove that i m one teacher material and can actually teach and make a difference. pray to Allah that it'll be smooth.

not to forget the money crisis i m facing nowadays. just to add the stress, it is now the time to do my final final exam. it is the real final for this six years of study. three papers down with an understandable amount of anger and relief at the same time. i have two more to go now. hopefully i can do it and not die without trying. thanks to my friends for giving me the chance to sit on it together again and study for the nights of exam. honestly i dont think i could do the exam without them helping. thanks so much dear friends!

it was such a long time that this blog has been abandoned.. huhu.. pardon me.. not that i got nothing to write, it was just a time when so many things are happening and i got busy and i really need time to sit and think what to deliver here.. the transition of studying place has forced me to take a long pause from updating this dear blog of mine.. so many incidents has happened for the past five weeks..

one important matter is that i have returned to this place at melaka to resume my final year of study. the good news that we all have been waiting for has finally arrived. we got the chance to stay outside of the college! referring to the post entitled "and so we're doomed", i wa cursing that we're told to stay at the hostel but alhamdulillah, it didn't happen. thanks to Allah for granting my wish. =) now we can feel more freedom, have a taste of independence (with a rent house to take care of) and have less to think about the sourness at the college. nonetheless, i still cannot digest the fact that we're back here and no longer in KL.. i miss iium badly.. i hope that my final year here will go as smooth and i hope to excel in this very last studying semester.

i should be saying this in this blog a long time ago. i have left iiu for real on june 1st. earlier, i have posted some entry regarding the fact that i'm about to say goodbye to iiu for my time there is finishing. well, the moment has passed without me having the time to post about it when it happens. now that i have the chance, therefore i bid farewell to my dear iiu.. two years there has been a great experience in my life. i have learnt so much being in iiu..

i appreaciate the freedom i had..

i appreciate the friendships i made there..

i appreciate the peace i experienced..

i appreciate the food i indulged..

i appreciate the opportunities i got..

i appreciate the chances i took..

i cherish the moments forever..

i now say, farewell dear iiu, for real..

i have anticipate very much of our stay in melaka soon. and like returning to hell, we are required to stay INSIDE the st*p*d college compound again. i think we all (the TESL Cohort 3 clan) are pretty much infuriated by the news. what have been dreamt before as a less-stressful life there (to stay in our own rent houses) is thrashed down the bin. no staying outside the college, we all have to face the hardships and tension plus stupidity plus insanity like we used to face 2 years ago. seriously, i loathe it very much. curse you big time, dear college admin and whoever that is involved in this 'beautiful' plan of dooming us all over again.

why can't you leave us alone?? please let us have a peaceful final year. leaving iium is one thing, and facing a bad life in melaka all over again is worse. duh.. i can sense the mental stress we're going to experience. owh, how i hope to burn the st*p*d gate surrounding the hostel. how i hope to smash that CCTV at the guard post. and how i hope i can escape all the torture and mean words that will definitely be thrown to us every single day. gosh!

O Allah the Most Great, please help me to be the strongest i can, to face the life at that goddamn place once again.

this week has been hell for us (tesl 3rd year clan).
if a football player scored 3 consecutive goals, it would be called Hat-trick. what about us who have to submit 4 assignments (more than three) consecutively?? we should call it "HAT-TRICK plus one". haha.. from monday until thursday this week, we have to finish and submit FOUR heavy assignments and all are killing me..
the best part is, everybody seems to struggle on them until the very last minute. huhu.. we are so darn busy at the moment.

it's hard on us.. we know that the semester is going to an end and that explains why all the tedious jobs of completing written assignments are to be due this week. but there are still one or two to go.. *sigh* my right shoulder is badly hurt and if i can hire a chiropractor to massage my shoulder, i would do that so that the pain of this stressed out and overused shoulder can be eased.. not forgetting to mention that i have not been sleeping normally these several weeks.. no quality sleep for me. huhu.. averagely, i only manage to sleep for about 3 hours per day since three weeks ago.

oh my.. it's killing me..

it has been 4 years and 8 months since i first enter this tesl course.
and there is about one more year to finish it. time flies....
but doesn't it feel long? perhaps quite long since my other friends of the same age have already passed some levels of their studies while i'm still stuck here, not even near to graduating.. i have to undergo this SIX years of study.. is it too long??
my family seems to forget when i will finish. they keep asking every year and i'm still doing the same course..

often my superior siblings ask.
"awak bile abes?"
"lambat lg.. 2010.."

once my cousins asked.
"dpt posting mane?"
"blum. blaja pun xabes lg.."

i remember my uncle asked me once.
"brape tahun blaja?"
"enam tahun."
"umang ai! ekau kuar nnt jd guru bosar ko apo??"

people don't expect undergoing a teacher training course could be that long. i told them many times that my case is special. but they seems to forget it. huhu.. sometimes i feel old when going to classes with juniors as the majority. i feel like i've been left behind when compared to my school-friends. they have experienced workplaces, the real world and even got to further studies into the second degree. owh, i'm tired of waiting.. not that i don't know the hikmah of this long road of preparing myself to be a teacher. it is just me wanting to say that, 6 years of study IS LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG. don't you think so??


here are some pictures showing me & my fellow tesl friends from 2004 - 2008.



2004-pygmalion, 2005-tesl language camp at mpkb, 2006-hindi dance performance, 2007-gala dinner, 2008-cohort photo session at iium (far top)