one last entry for 2009

the past one year had been great. there were ups and downs, and all those made me one bit wiser. my long six-years of study is coming to its end in 2010. before 2009 ends, let's recall the most memorable happenings in 2009 that made my year.

1. the births of two cute nephews - Ahmad Faid & Adam
2. three months of wait for my handphone to be repaired.
3. lost my first and beloved digital camera at sungai pisang
4. started this blog!
5. was the Head for Catering Committee at JASA's prog in Pulau Indah
6. Practicum Phase 1 at SK Gombak Utara
7. ain got married
8. stayed for 2 weeks in Kelantan on babysitting mission
9. left iium for my final year at maktab
10. returned to the most spiteful place --> maktab, to suffer more than ever
11. lived in rent house with friends
12. H1N1 fear
13. suspected for dengue --> high fever
14. turned 23
15. touched a snake for the first time
16. doing artwork for folio
17. rode a horse for the first time
18. boarded an airplane for the first time!
19. trip to pulau pinang
20. athirah got married
21. started wearing contact lenses
22. got great result for previous semester
23. drove van for the first time

and that is all i can go for the remaining hours of 2009. it was blissful, it was hard, it was full with hatred and it was a good year overall. i love to cherish those moments forever and anticipate for another wonderful year in 2010!

hobin jang hobin!!

it is one of the most glorious nights that i can recall as a Negeri Sembilanese. the state where i was born, raise and always love won the Piala Malaysia by 3-1 last night. the victory against Kelantan is so sweet as i watched it with my brother at a mamak restaurant while fixing my laptop. huhu.. it was so cool to have won that. i was not the biggest fan at first, where i only got to know about the news that we were going to the finals about four days ago through facebook. but later as i realised the prestige of the game, i became more and more proud. hehe.. what more can i feel when we won and nailed it? haha.. thank you Negeri Sembilan players for giving us such an entertaining show. despite the rain, you guys nailed it. yeeehaaaa~

alas, i was quite disappointed to see the attitude of Kelantanese supporters. come on, what happen to 'my game is fair play'?? face it. you will be more of a respected person if you embrace the fact that you lose and it turned out that you became just a shame to your state. throwing fire crackers, bottles and lit up fire in the stadium were not good to be happening in a sport even. not to mention a LIVE sport event watched by the whole nation! huhu.. be a man laa.. and the players of Kelantan seemed to take it rough and kept committing foul and causing our player to fell and suffer in pain so frequent last night. that i understand though. at the edge of losing, you really don't care much about the price you are paying.

congratulations and viva Negeri Sembilan players! this victory is such a sweet memory to us, children of Negeri Sembilan. HOBIN JANG HOBIN~

a hectic october

i itched to post an update for this blog but time and responsibilities come in my way. so much things going on, so hectic life. it was crazy dealing with the micro or macroteaching madness, groupwork, visual art folio and what not. plus the craziiiiiiiiiiinessssss of the LECTURERS that we need to handle with thousands of curse and bitter face doubled the reason to not putting me in a state where i feel free to scribble something here. gosh it was d*mn hectic!

place to do my practicum has come to knowledge now and it is situated near durian tunggal. i m looking forward to start the second phase of practicum and i feel scared too. this is one final chance to prove that i m one teacher material and can actually teach and make a difference. pray to Allah that it'll be smooth.

not to forget the money crisis i m facing nowadays. just to add the stress, it is now the time to do my final final exam. it is the real final for this six years of study. three papers down with an understandable amount of anger and relief at the same time. i have two more to go now. hopefully i can do it and not die without trying. thanks to my friends for giving me the chance to sit on it together again and study for the nights of exam. honestly i dont think i could do the exam without them helping. thanks so much dear friends!


this is another post with a malay title. just want to signify how irritated i am with this one thing. funny how you could live with someone who is just not in the same book as you. well, it is definitely for convenience and for the sake of others. i particularly don't fond much on one name that irritates me to the bone. that one name never fail to annoy me every single day. can u imagine spending a lifetime with people like that? *groan*

listening to that one name's voice over and over again really really really irritates me. we are all enduring it for the sake of living this final year peacefully. i'm sick of it and can't wait to escape all these. owh how i hope that i can ditch that one name from my life for good. rimasnye~~~

one year older

september 26th witnessed the turning of this 5' 1" tall girl to a new age. being 23 should mean much as i'm a year older to be ready to take on more responsibilities. upon my birthday, i don't really feel much. the number has just added and that is all. nothing really changes save for the environment i am in right now. things are pretty much the same. so little gain. perhaps one gain i got is knowledge. although things are pretty much the same, i should become wiser and more mature in my thoughts, perspectives and actions. the word SHOULD there means rather a suggestion or expectation. it is expected of me to become wiser. it is expected of me to become more mature. nonetheless, am i subject to fulfil all the suggestions and expectations? *sigh* again, i SHOULD be. or as it get stronger, i MUST be.

the age 23 signifies the opening of the real world to me. i'm about to leave this safe sanctuary of friends, campus, and regulations and lead my feet into the real working world. i am a real adult now. soon i'm going to have to make decisions on my own. soon i cannot use the excuse that "i am a student" anymore. what a total change..

this is what my birthday means to me. it certainly does not revolves around birthday cake or candle blowing or fancy gifts. i don't really fond of such celebration for my birthday. if others want to have it on their birthdays, then go on. but to me, on my birthday i'd rather have no celebration at all because birthday marks the coming of more and more challenges and responsibilities. it is enough for me to just receive 'happy birthday' wishes. that is all.

what an eid

ramadhan just came by and went away from me this year just like that. i didn't feel as serene as i felt last year. it was so-so
as i had not the time to perform the terawih and really enjoy the nikmat of ramadhan as my health condition was not the greatest and i was very busy settling my tonnes of work. the change of environment really leaves an impact. i don't really have the heart to celebrate anything here. plus with the bad happenings at the college during that month, there is not much to be happy about.

then came syawal. every eid i hope for a merry celebration. how i believe that it will happen every year.. owh.. it was just a hope because i love to be around my parents, siblings, niece & nephews, cousins and all. it turned out to be the most tensed eid so far. it was not a happy eid for me. tense went around every moment. it was a great deal of stress to my mother, my sisters and of course me. i cannot explain much further but i just want to say that all the tension revolves around my grandmother. people say do not be rude to the elderly, but i cannot help it. i was pushed and tensed. i really wish that all these can be over soon. i don't want to be misunderstood in my own home. i love my family and i am really sick of all the grudges and hard feelings stored deep in the bottom of our hearts. the wish "selamat hari raya, maaf zahir batin" is just a myth in my opinion. it is not really happening so why bother asking for apology? huh..

however, being able to take the annual family portrait is a nice memory though. this time around we are able to gather everyone (17 persons) to cramp into one frame of portrait. i know for sure that it will be expanded real soon. perhaps we can no longer fit into a photo studio after this. haha.. but i was amazed that all the babies behaved and co-operated for the photo shoot. no cry or whatsoever. even eri, my special baby brother was really great and obidient. the arrangement that i had for one year in my head has finally come to life. my mother constantly reminded us that this year has been a time of change to us. half of my siblings are married and they have the other side of family they need to attend to. so from now on, it will not always be the 8 of us during eid.

it was a so-so eid for me. not much duit raya collected as i'm older now. or perhaps they thought that i am working now. wrong, people! i'm still a student.. nevermind though. alhamdulillah for the rezeki i got. let us hope to have a better eid next year. eid mubarak everybody!

once a dengue drama

about three weeks ago, i was in some sort of dengue drama that made me feel so weak, sensitive and sick. it all first started with a slight fever.then my body temperature get soooo hot (i mean very hot) on the next morning. with the fear of h1n1 pandemic still on, i went to the clinic and i was suspected for dengue. i felt relieved to learn that it was not h1n1 but still worried for i might be having dengue. it is equally terrifying. then i went home and rest. thanks to my housemates for earnestly tending me while i was sick. it does not end there. two days later, the fever came back and i noticed some rashes on my skin. it was a sign for me to go back to see the doctor. then i went back and forth to the clinic for a week. i took 4 blood tests as my platlet and white blood cell count are dropping. i got 3 days of MC (leave) and it was not the very best experience i had in my life. believe me, MC is just nothing to a sick person. i didn't felt better. i was not attending class for 4 days. the wait at the clinic really tested me. here you are, sick, shivering and need to lie down but you still have to get in line and queue for the blood test.

ramadhan came and i went home for holidays. the following week, i got sick once again and lost my appetite. i couldn't even finish my plate of rice and all the dishes my mother fixed. it was very frustrating not to be able to eat when that is what you really need. i really longed to feel healthy as usual. somehow i regained health and got back my appetite after two weeks of sickness. praise to Allah, i am fine now but the experience of sickness really leave a mark in my life. it was nothing really, compared to serious illnneses like heart problem, AIDS, or diabetes. but it was hard for me. i hope to stay fit and so does everyone else around me.

the date is finally working! hurrah~

finally! i succeed in making the post date in this template visible! yay!
it took me 3 months to figure out how to show the date. fuh.. its all about the setting. now i can use this layout again. yippie!

H1N1: the fear

H1N1 pandemic in our country is getting very serious these days. influenza A is a lot scarier than JE, faster than avian flu, more hazardous than dengue, and a lot worse than cikugunya.. more death are reported day by day. since i heard the first death, the number is rising up until 18 deaths to this very moment. it's scary. it's alarming. everyone should be very alarmed and should take care of his own health very seriously. there's a death heard last week just one kilometre away from the house i'm renting with my friends now.

it is a scary pandemic but people are not acting accordingly. quoting Mr. Rajendran (my lecturer), "the situation is serious but people are not being serious,". some even have the guts to mock us wearing the protective mask in the public. i'm so sorry to bother about my health and you don't. that's the attitude of many Malaysians on this serious matter.

but be bold. we are reminded not to bother all those silly remarks made by those who couldn't care less. wear a mask everywhere you go. take care of your health. but remember, death will come no matter what. it is destined to happen so, at a time, place and condition determined by Allah. nevertheless, we need to take preventive measures to this deadly flu and pray. may Allah grant us the best of health.

eyu and i are wearing masks even in our lecture room.

a long pause

it was such a long time that this blog has been abandoned.. huhu.. pardon me.. not that i got nothing to write, it was just a time when so many things are happening and i got busy and i really need time to sit and think what to deliver here.. the transition of studying place has forced me to take a long pause from updating this dear blog of mine.. so many incidents has happened for the past five weeks..

one important matter is that i have returned to this place at melaka to resume my final year of study. the good news that we all have been waiting for has finally arrived. we got the chance to stay outside of the college! referring to the post entitled "and so we're doomed", i wa cursing that we're told to stay at the hostel but alhamdulillah, it didn't happen. thanks to Allah for granting my wish. =) now we can feel more freedom, have a taste of independence (with a rent house to take care of) and have less to think about the sourness at the college. nonetheless, i still cannot digest the fact that we're back here and no longer in KL.. i miss iium badly.. i hope that my final year here will go as smooth and i hope to excel in this very last studying semester.


i should be saying this in this blog a long time ago. i have left iiu for real on june 1st. earlier, i have posted some entry regarding the fact that i'm about to say goodbye to iiu for my time there is finishing. well, the moment has passed without me having the time to post about it when it happens. now that i have the chance, therefore i bid farewell to my dear iiu.. two years there has been a great experience in my life. i have learnt so much being in iiu..

i appreaciate the freedom i had..

i appreciate the friendships i made there..

i appreciate the peace i experienced..

i appreciate the food i indulged..

i appreciate the opportunities i got..

i appreciate the chances i took..

i cherish the moments forever..

i now say, farewell dear iiu, for real..

dulu CIK, kini PUAN..

the title
earnestly does not explain me. hehe.. it's meant for my dear friend, Nurul Ain bt Mohd Mokhtar who have just got married last saturday. she is the first in our TESL cohort 3 batch to be married. it all went so fast, when she announced of her engagement during last Ramadhan. it is very memorable as she is the drama-queen of the batch, the 'gila-gila' one, & the zany one. she did not likely seem to get married early. thus we least expected her to be the first one to tie the knot. nonetheless, JODOH is a pre-planned matter of Allah's business and we have no power neither control over it. it is written that she got married at this age and we are all very happy for her. on saturday May 30th, the akad nikah ceremony has tied Ain to the bond of marriage with her husband. she is married to Mohd Nazri, 29, an engineer. although so many problems occured through my journey to attend Ain's wedding, i made it through. together with four other friends, i boarded from KL to kuantan early in the morning. once arrived at ain's house, we straight away searched for her and found her in the bilik pengantin. to my surprise, she was the most beautiful of her that i ever see. i was startled to see her as a bride and nearly come to tears. she has transformed into someone else that is very mature and more of a lady. we chit chatted for a while before the groom comes to the house. disbelief, happiness and the feeling of amazed all mixed around in our hearts upon watching ain being a bride. she told us that she was very pleased and touched to learn us attending her wedding. the ceremony then went smooth and i got to take some pictures of ain & her husband as the newlyweds.

ain as the bride

pengantin duduk bersanding.. ewaaah~

amik berkat.. hehe

it is an amazing feeling to watch your own friend on the pelamin and i cannot excuse myself from thinking of my own wedding day. will it happen? if yes, how soon will it be? well, the answers are all in Allah's hand and i wish Ain and her husband a thousand years of happiness and may the marriage always be in Allah's blessings. i'm very hopeful that very very soon, we, the rest of TESL cohort 3 will experience our wedding day too.. hehe.. one married, 48 more to go. =)

selamat pengantin baru!

ROS: finished!!

perhaps it is quite too late to announce this but since i haven't got the civil time to sit and focus on writing about this, this entry only comes about today. actually, the SOP or ROS has been over somewhat 2 weeks ago. on the 22nd of May, we all gladly bid farewell to the whole school as our internship meets the end. i can conclude that my stay there for a whole month was not the most pleasant that i can imagine. there was a lot of uneasiness, awkwardness and fury felt. yes, i gained a priceless experience there and it was all a preparation to become a real teacher soon. i learnt a great deal of things like how to handle pupils with different kinds of attitude, how to cope with sudden demand from the admin or the colleagues, how to handle stress and how to handle crisis at hand. one important point that must be mentioned is that i learnt about communication and how to work with the other teachers. surely, through out the process, i have been labeled as a snob and all. that's the fate new interns like me had to face, being labeled as snobs whereas we had tried our best in appearing good and warm. that is one test from God that we need to deal with. the only fond memory i got is from my teachings in the classroom. those pupils were the only good thing about that school that i want to remember about. i surely will miss them and hope that they will do well in school and become great people in the future.

finishing ROS does not mean that we're finished with work. right away after 22nd, we all had to struggle in finishing our logbook (the folio) and journal. the journal is meant for everyday log that records the happenings at school. definitely a last minute work, i nearly broke my hand upon writing the last entry of the journal. it was very crazy and the logbook is acceptably thick, even thicker than an engineering book of any type. it was madness all around. i feel so relieved to finish the whole thing and i hope to gain a better experience for phase II of teaching practice, where i will be teaching for real.

a teacher can change the world

i did a relief for Sivik & Kewarganegaraan in a year 4 class, particularly the last class of the batch. i don't have to mention the state of the class as you know that the last class usually is the least smart class and most of the time, the low achievers reside there. i have expected a challenge and the students really lit up my temper. they are sometimes viewed by some teachers as helpless but believing that every child has a potential as given by Allah, i refused to agree on that view. i believe that they are pearls that will shine, provided that the teacher has the patience and will power to stand their attitude and train them to become successful in their life.

i left the class in a fury as i couldn't stand their disobedience. but afterward, things changed 360 degrees. immediately after that class, i stayed in the library and the students from that class came with their teacher. it was kind of tiring to see them again but my feelings of fury definitely changed as some of them sat on the same table as me and start reading from big books. it touches me when listening to the rhythm of them reading. some of them can barely read. they are very slow readers and i dare not to scold them. i can see that they struggled to read but never gave up. i automatically helped them through the reading and asked them to read in front of me. looking at them struggling to spell and read at the age of ten, i wondered how did i end up where i am. i didn't remember of such struggle and felt pity for them. i stayed by their side and attentively helped them read. i totally forgot about how mad i was at them and just felt sorry for them. at that time i realised that if i managed to help them become one bit better at reading, i may have changed their life course. as i mentioned, the one word i teach them reading will definitely make a difference. who knows that those children will be somebody great in the future and it all started with things like what i just did today. i hope that they will not stop trying to improve and i wish for a better future for them.

what happened today has made me become more passionate to work as a teacher. being a teacher trainee i have realised the big responsibility that a teacher has to bear. there is so much a teacher can do in shaping a better and functional generation or in ruining one. and there is also so much that a teacher can create in determining one's future. look at how powerful a teacher is.. definitely, teachers possess the power to change the world..

my family: continue to expand

Adam bin Mohd Tarmizi
10th May 2009

not long after the arrival of my first nephew Ahmad Faid bin Mohd Zulhilmi, i received another great news on sunday. i welcome my second nephew who was born on sunday at about 8 pm in Kelantan. my 3rd brother Mohd Tarmizi is officially a father now and can join my other brother Mohd Zulhilmi in the club of nurturing babies. haha.. the cute baby named Adam is the 17th member of our big family and the third grandchild of my parents. i can sense a merry Eid celebration this year full with babies' cry. what a scene to anticipate. =) congratulations to my sis-in-law Noor Syuhada for being a mother. Athirah and Ahmad Faid now has a gang of three to play and cry together. so cute! let's go to jusco to buy baby's products again! hehe

ROS: so far so challenging


the school orientation programme at SKGU has been going on for two weeks now. i can't believe that it has been halfway to the end. for the past two weeks, things have been quite interesting actually. i was not as busy as my friends at other schools who had to do more than relief and our actual ROS tasks (which are finding the info about school management and writing daily journal). i can say that i'm pretty lucky to only have to go to classes and do some reliefs and some other small jobs. i'm not as stressed as they are, although i do experience some uneasiness and stress too. as for today, i have been asked to replace absent and busy teachers and teach in the classroom nearly everyday. it is quite challenging to be true, but i like it. i love stepping into classes and interacting with the pupils. and for the record, there was no single day in these two weeks where i didn't enter any class at all. certainly i will be entering classes to do relief and observation. when other friends at other schools are whining about having to do more relief than they think they should, i just smile and say that i'm ok with it. i don't mind to do relief for one whole week. on monday 4th, all the three of us did a massive relief from morning to the afternoon. no doubt it was tremendously tiring, challenging and hard, but i really gained some precious experiences and had fun doing it.

the admin of the school has been giving fair co-operation to us interns. on the scale of one to ten, i can put the school admin and teachers at the scale of 5 in terms of assisting us in this internship. not so much helped got, and not so much warmth felt. just so-so. my Co-operating Teacher (CT) is also the assistant head teacher of the school. you can imagine how busy she is and how much does she really put into this whole thing of assisting me through the internship. the way i see it, i have been the one assisting. i have been covering much for her in her English classes. nonetheless, we keep ourselves going and have been trying to find the info on school management on our own. luckily, i have my mother to refer to since she herself is a headmistress in a primary school. the teachers, at the beginning i thought that they were just wants to shoot us with their eyes but day by day, i realised that they are just alright. only a little few who just can't seem to smile back to us. i don't get their problem. we're just interns and trainees at the school. ape kes nak jeling2?? huh.. luckily i only have to bear with those faces for only two more weeks. lantak ko laa! huhu.. fitting in to the school environment really takes time.

surely it's tiring to go into classrooms everyday and teach subjects that are not from my field (English) but seeing the faces of the pupils, it keeps me going on. the pupils are one good reason to get me keep coming to the school. they are one source of motivation i would say. looking at their faces lit up with the spirit to learn, it really boosted my passion to be a good teacher. i definitely need to learn more on how to handle different kinds of pupil and to best deliver lessons. i like it when being called "teacher" and "cikgu" by those wonderful children. an indescribable feeling rushes through my vains everytime i heard pupils call me those. it's the mixture of disbelief, satisfaction and pleasure perhaps. a big amount of orang asli children are amongst my pupils. it is a pleasant feeling to see them willing to go to school and learn. i have some involvement with the orang asli community in the past and i hope that i can go on with that by helping and educating the orang asli children at the school.

this exposure has given me the real taste of being a real teacher in the future. i certainly understand now that being a teacher is not a child's play. it is NOT EASY BEING A TEACHER. mind you, those who say that teaching is like a piece of cake and look at the teaching profession as a last resort, THINK AGAIN. it is so hard to work as a teacher. you have to think through so many things before you can carry out a lesson and you have to tackle so many problems while ensuring your students understand the lesson. educating and shaping the attitude of today's children are heavy responsibilities thrusted upon a teacher's shoulder. there's a great deal of stress in the journey of being a teacher. i can go on and then it would sound like my LE4000 paper. huhu.. may the rest of this SOP go nice and smooth.

the pupils of SKGU

slumdog millionaire craze

suddenly i grew some craze about the film Slumdog Millonnaire after watching it for several times. this flick has made very high achievement at the Oscar, Academy, People's Choice and some other high-class award events in the world. it is not a surprise for such a story got very strong audience and excelled at the oscar since it is such an interesting hindi movie with a different touch. although some would claim it a British movie, since the writer, director and producer are a bunch of britts, i prefer to call it a hindi movie all along since the story is all about people in India, the settings are all across India and it also portrayed Indians' mindsets, culture, custom, history and life images.

the storyline is undeniably interesting. that is the strongest point of the film that captures million of hearts all around the world. it is about this Indian Muslim boy named Jamal who had a rough and kind of sad life in the slums of Mumbai end up winning the "Who Wants To Be a Millionnaire" gameshow and managed to grab 20 million rupees. it is a story about life, pain, love, hardship, trust, determination, hope and destiny. i felt pity to the protagonist for having to face so much in his life at a very tender age (he's only 18 in the story) and getting the win at the end with such hardship. the win he got is incomparable to what he wants the most, which is to find his long lost love. i was touched with all the hardships and all the injustice Jamal experienced. the character is so cute and lovely, and that applies too to the child actor who brings Jamal to life (ayush). and the music score is soo great. it is so refreshing. i like Jai Ho the most, and that is what you're listening to everytime you visit this blog. the song is about passion, life, dream and victory as the exclamation "jai ho" is usually said upon achieving success, as what is
portrayed in some hindi movies (correct me if i'm wrong). another thing that really touches me is that jamal had no one else to turn to after being chased out by his only brother and he continued his life all on his own. i can get to my tears when family issue is brought up. jamal is so pitiful and doesn't seem like a likely hero. bravo to all the crew and cast of the movie and may more story of life like this will be produced and cherished. jai ho~

jamal, his friend latika and brother salim while living in a syndicate of beggars

jamal got no clue, he just knows the answers from his life experiences

jamal is taken aback after being announced as a millionaire,
money is not what he chases

the child actors and actresses of slumdog millionaire

ROS commences

today i started my teaching practice phase I. it is named Rancangan Orientasi Sekolah (ROS) and designated to be conducted for 4 weeks. it was alright despite the condition of my body, which is in a flu and feverish state. the school which i and my fellow interns (ain & hajar) have been assigned to is Sekolah Kebangsaan Gombak Utara. we met the headmistress, the GPKs, teachers and the pupils too. for the first meeting today, it was just a brief introduction to the school and we just roamed around the school compound to see the environment. the school is pretty wide and she has two sessions, whch are the morning and afternoon session. i felt like lying down, because my head is soooo heavy but i held on and the smiles on the pupils faces really kept me going. i forgot that i have a fever when i step into one class today. only my first day in school and i got to do some relief. haha.. it was fun though. we got pretty much nothing to do despite the fact that ROS interns should always be occupied with jobs. huhu.. i tried to put a good-natured face because first impression is everything. tomorrow i hope more work waiting for us so that we won't waste time sitting around awkwardly in the staffroom. =)

Bina Insan Guru Camp 2009

after finishing my exam on the 12th april, i got no days to waste. just one brief day off, then i had to attend a camp that combines the module of BTN and module set by the Bahagian Pendidikan Guru (our 'beloved' daddy). it is a kind of BTN camp, but teachers' version. it is a requirement for us TESLians thus no one is excused from it, including the chicken pox bearer Hilwal and the scrutch-occupied Kasyah. huhu.. pity them for having to attend such rough activity with not-so-well bodies. nevertheless, we all went off to the infamous D'Perkasa Camp (formerly known as Rebutia camp) right here in gombak on wednesday. earlier bofere, we had the lecture part at our very own lt3 in insted.

~DAY ONE 15 apr 2009~
on the rainy but not gloomy morning, (cheh ape daa intro mcm karangan form 5) we departed from iium chartering a bus and a van. upon arriving, i sensed that the place is somewhat close to the location where i lost my dear initial camera (sob). it is at sungai pisang. memories of that dear camera rushed into my head and i felt like spurring to the spot where i believed i had lost it and try to relocate it, if i ever get lucky. but nay, that thought is rejected first hand by my friends with the stand that there is no point in doing such action as i got my self a new one and it is not certain that i will find it. plus, following the heavy rain the night before, the stream was going crazy with extra water and rushing current thus it would be very dangerous to get across the river. i came back to my senses after looking at the stream and keep on focusing on the camp instead.

the camp was nice and clean. after some briefing, we got 'checked in' to our exclusive "apartments" (tents) right behind the hall. i was ecstatic to find myself in the tent but most of my friends hated the idea very much. i don't care. i like adventure and have been itching to go camping for quite a time. finally got the chance, felt like jumping. and i did. hehe..

the tent

then we started the modul by some
indoor LDK. it was rather usual and we got to sing some nasheed songs which i was not familiar with and after singing them with our own tunes and styles (we turned the nasheed songs to rap, haha), we got lectured for it. duh, you just don't expect everyone to know nasheed songs, especially the latest ones. me, especially. i have stopped listening to nasheed after five consecutive years listening ONLY to nasheed in my schooldays. i do listen to certain songs, just raihan's and hijjaz's. then the core message is about building a righteous character of a teacher. caryying the label TEACHER on our forehead, we are required to bear certain character that is compatible and necessary in doing that. certainly i have pondered for a while about my character as a teacher-to-be. there are some alteration and betterment to be carried out for sure. hehe

for the afternoon session, we had some outdoor activity in the ice-breaking session. we played some modules that required teamwork, thorough thinking and physical fitness. i would like to highlight on the first activity we did which is the going throuh the flying fox trail. once more i got excited and rushed to do it amongst the first ones. before we could actually fly like the fox, we had to climb up some trees and go through some obstacles and it was scaaaaary. scary i told you. the excited me had become scared. i shivered and sweated along the way. it was very high up and we got only the safety hook and some line to keep us hanged on the trees, just in case. i took a long time to climb but when i reached the final section, i became brave and impatient to finish the trail by doing the flying fox. definitely, the feeling when cruising the line from a very high point is indescribable. i was very thrilled to be doing it. it was soooo fun and exciting it got me screaming like a girl. i had never screamed like that in my whole life. my friends got confused and surprised to hear me screamed that girly. haha.. being the least ladylike person, it is less expected from me to react in such a way upon doing the flying fox. huhu.. one friend even joked by saying that to find your real sexual orientation, you got to do flying fox (like i did), haha. just a joke. i know i am a true female through and through and proud to be one. don't worry. haha.. it was a very nice experience. i really overcame my fear and did it.

excited to start the climb

it was so scary, huhu

flying fox

very high up, very challenging

then, we went through the next checkpoint which requires us to swing using a rope and to land on a big tire and we had to squeeze ourselves to stand on the same tire. the 17 of us cramped ourselves on two tires and at that time, no matter how sweaty you were, you just hugged each other to save the team. it was fun and funny at the same time as we are forced to be really close to each other, despite the grudge or the hard feelings we might have for some. huhu.. we were really forced to leave all that behind and start bonding for the sake of the team.

swing like a tarzan, huhu

cramped on

happy after finishing all three checkpoints

we also bonded to do the third task which i am not that ecstatic to talk bout here. huhu.. let's just say that it was a challenge of transferring all the teammates across one small pool using some pieces of wood. it was a tiring day, really. the meal we had were nice and filling. that night, once again we did indoor LDK and this time, we had to compete by building our own university with our own vision and theme by using carrot, bell pepper, kambas, sweet potato and a good amount of candy. it was fun to put our creativity and imagination to test. my group won the competition.

building our dream university

our fancy university with her proud developers

bell pepper mosque (with my contribution, hehe)

afterward, we had to tear up some pinang fruit by only using our mere hands. it was very hard and i gave up. i let my other friends finish it. after some gruesome hour of trying to tear up the pinang clean, we were given one coconut, the ripe one, for real and do the same thing. we were all tired and sleepy but i accepted the challenge counting the fact that i was amongst the ones that know how to tear up a coconut and actually used to do it. not everyone knows and had the experience of tearing up coconut. we fixed the coconut only using our magical and powerful hands until we got the tempurung. my hands definitely hurt because of that. it is crazy though, we i think back about it. one friend pointed out that, that was the outcome of us when didn't get connected to the internet for solid 24 hours.. haha.. and it was also an outcome of holding our sleeptime. we were all very sleepy indeed while tearing all that palm fruits. owh.. the activity was just a symbol to show us that we can do pretty much everything if we really set our heart into it. we then fled happily to our exclusive tents to manage to grab some sleep at last.

the finishing product

~DAY TWO 16 apr 2009~
the next day started with an adventure, namely jungle trekking. as all had expected, we are required to pass through some rough trails and dirty ourselves to the skin. i fancy adventure myself so i just enjoyed the walk through the jungle. but the activity was lacking something. no serious thing that we actually learnt from it especially when it was accompanied by inexperienced facilitators. facilitators, talk about them. i hate some of them. huhu.. before finishing the trekking, we were required to go through an obstacle and note here, i hated it so much. there is no point of us walking through a pool of mud and water, soaked ourselves to the head and crying out our name and place of birth. it was not fun either. the facilitator seemed to have a great time laughing at us and that pissed me even more. i hate it because that activity ruined my shoes, my socks and treksuit. huh. we finishes our trekking with a visit to the river which then has been clean and not really dangerous. we spent some time there cleaning up and having fun 'mandi sungai'. we shared a good time singing some songs, with our voices fighting over the sound of the stream.

in the jungle

me =)

really dirty

back at the camp, we cleaned up and grab some long nap. we all lay down and sleep until 4 pm. i can't believe that we were allowed to do that since we're in a camp and have a schedule to follow. huhu.. it was kind of fun though, to sleep together one batch like that. it was a rare scene to behold. huhu.. after waking up that afternoon, we played some games to make us awake. once again, the spirit of teamwork is called and we had to finish them in the honour of the team. there was this game where we were splitted into three teams and we had to build a country. the mute team was just giving the design of the construction and i, among the normal ones had to order the blind team to do the construction for us. it was pure challenging ordering blind ones to do the physical task as they cannot see a thing. it also challenged my temper and i nearly throwing a fit during the game. finally, we managed to finish the construction although it was really hard. all the games are just a symbol to what we will face in the real working world. as a teacher/goverment servant (the blind ones), we need to take orders from the admin and perform the task. its hard but not much reponsibility. as the admin (the normal ones), we are having the hard time thinking about the order and the challenges. as the policy makers (the mute ones), we can just give the design without the power to say anything. it is up to the admin to manage the organisation. the game really put us into the shoes of different parties in an organisation and we really learnt something from it.

that night after some nice barbecue dinner, we set off for the grand activity, which is the night walk. i like to experience the activity but it never failed to get me shivered. upon thinking about walking in the darkness of the jungle and the fact that many other creatures would be watching us just sent chill to my bones. i felt inferior and kept thinking about Allah's power to create the world and how we should cling only onto Him and believe in His power no matter what. it was very tiring. the very long journey in the dark really got me quiet. i notice that i had never been that quiet in my life. i kept being silent and serious the whole time. we climbed, walked through trees and leaves, and even slid through the jungle dirt to get to the last check point. we end up sitting in the creek, at 3.30 am. i don't have to tell you how cold it was. we got to sujud into the water and do some taubah. we then were required to do some forgive and forget session, and mind you, our feet were still in the water. yes, we did do the part, but do i really forgive and forget? the answer is simple. not really. it is hard to forgive someone in just a flash. it is even harder to forget the deeds. forgiving takes time. it really does. the very cold and freezing session ended at about 4.20 am and i couldn't wait to sleep. we slept right after we reached the camp.

~DAY THREE 17 apr 2009~
the next morning, after sleeping for the second phase (after subuh), we started our module quite late and it was the "menara maruah" challenge. we were required to build a tower from pvc pipe cylinders by stucking them up one by one until it stands up like a tall pole. we had to support the tower by attaching four lines on each pipe and the other end of the lines was hold by a member. all 49 of us were involved in this seemed-impossible mission. i was shocked to see us doing the whole thing. i couldn't believe my eyes that we got 8 pipes up already. by the time to put my pipe, we had some trouble and the tower crashes down before we even got to put mine (no9) up. it was tiring and really challenging though. everyone is crucial in the process and every point of view needed to be considered. different point of views can either secure or break the tower. nonetheless, after only managed to put up 8 pipes, we sit down nad talked about it. again, it was all very symbolic and meaningful. we need to pull ourselves together in order to make things work. i never expected that we could actually do it. therefore, i felt really proud of my friends to be able to make the tower high. good job TESL cohort 3!

the tower in a glimpse

hold the line! keep it straight!

what a scene to behold, seconds before it started to collapse

the three gories, the one who held the base of the tower

for the last activity, we got to one last singing session and this time i kept quiet to respect the songs. we had our last LDK and presented it. all in all, the camp was a success. the modules were interesting and fresh to me. it was good to learn from. i had a good experience during the whole camp. it was fun to have an outing together with my clan like that after a long time. it was sure tiring, and left my face burnt and my skin itchy. i would love another adventure next time and let us hope that there will be no more irritating facilitators involved. haha

the camp is one nice place to take pictures, huhu

and so we're doomed..

i have anticipate very much of our stay in melaka soon. and like returning to hell, we are required to stay INSIDE the st*p*d college compound again. i think we all (the TESL Cohort 3 clan) are pretty much infuriated by the news. what have been dreamt before as a less-stressful life there (to stay in our own rent houses) is thrashed down the bin. no staying outside the college, we all have to face the hardships and tension plus stupidity plus insanity like we used to face 2 years ago. seriously, i loathe it very much. curse you big time, dear college admin and whoever that is involved in this 'beautiful' plan of dooming us all over again.

why can't you leave us alone?? please let us have a peaceful final year. leaving iium is one thing, and facing a bad life in melaka all over again is worse. duh.. i can sense the mental stress we're going to experience. owh, how i hope to burn the st*p*d gate surrounding the hostel. how i hope to smash that CCTV at the guard post. and how i hope i can escape all the torture and mean words that will definitely be thrown to us every single day. gosh!

O Allah the Most Great, please help me to be the strongest i can, to face the life at that goddamn place once again.

is this the parting?

not yet.

i still have 6 weeks left here.
still got one more paper to go and a four-days-Bina-Insan-Guru camp before a quick break and then start my teaching practice phase 1 on 27th. but yes, that time is little.

i do want to stay here because the place i'm going back is not a desirable place to be. i hate the fact that we're leaving. not that this place is that great, i just think it's better and perhaps less stressful. no need to anticipate the challenges and hard times we are going to face once we're back there, i know it very well that we will suffer as much as we had experience before. owh, snap.

i hope that i can make full use of the last 6 weeks i have left.
also hope to create beautiful parting memories to cherish.
it's hard to do the parting, but what to do??
i can't deny the system.
i need to go when it's time to go..

*very sad smiley*

my family ~updated~

"it is a big family to begin with, and with the expansion we total up to 15 persons now. and the number is growing. perhaps, we shall have another addition this week. insha-Allah. =)"

indeed, we have another addition today. i got a news just now that my sis-in-law has given birth to a baby boy and he is my first nephew! yay!! now i'm an aunt of one niece (lovely Athirah) and one nephew. the newborn baby boy is yet to be named. congratulations to my brother Banglang for officially becoming a father. chukha handa oppa ya.. =) now we have 16 persons in our big family. alhamdulillah..

Ahmad Faid bin Mohd Zulhilmi
31st March 2009

Athirah now has a cousin. =)

my family

this time around, i shall introduce
to thee my kin. it is a big family to begin with, and with the expansion we total up to 15 persons now. and the number is growing. perhaps, we shall have another addition this week. insha-Allah. =)

My nucleus family
it is consisting of 8 siblings. my parents are blessed with five sons and three daughters.
i'm the fifth one and the 2nd daughter.

My eldest brother, Mohd Taufik with his bride, Siti Aisyah (my sis-in-law).
They got married recently in December.

My big sister, Huraizah, the 2nd child of the family. She is happily married to Azlan (my bro-in-law) and blessed with a beautiful daughter, Siti Athirah.

My second brother, Mohd Zulhilmi is the 3rd child. He is married to Fazlina (my sis-in-law), and they are expecting their first child now.

Next is my third brother, Mohd Tarmizi who is the fourth child of the family. He got married to Noor Syuhada (my sis-in-law) and this couple is also expecting child no1.

Then comes me. =)

Next is my younger sister, Halimaton, the sixth one.

Going on to the seventh child, my younger brother Muhammad Zulhusna.

And the youngest, Mohammad Zulkhairi.
as you can notice, he is a special child, with Down syndrome.
He is very special indeed. =)

Save the last for the best, here are my parents,
Encik Mohd Baharudin & Puan Hasnah.

amak+abah, sarang hae..

An Arabic saying quotes:
"Kulli syai'in yashtari illal um wal ab"
bearing the meaning:
You can buy everything (in this world) except for mother and father.

gotta be somebody for me??

for all the reasons under the sun, i want to post this song and tell the message it brings. it should be clear once we read the lyrics. and i have to say that i like the wordings. we have to believe what Allah has promised us. this song is a constant reminder to me whenever i whine about this issue. hehe.. to all of you out there whose minds are also bugged with this subject, it is just a matter of time. just be a little more patient and wait.. =)

Gotta Be Somebody by Nickelback

This time I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life
The one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I'll be waiting for the real thing
I'll know it by the feeling
The moment when we're meeting
We'll play out like a scene straight off the silver screen
So I'll be holding my breath
Right up till the end
Until that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with

'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that

'Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
Is somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Tonight out on the street out in the moonlight
And d**n it this feels too right
It's just like déjà vu
Me standing here with you
So I'll be holding my breath
Could this be the end?
Is it that moment when
I find the one that I spend forever with?

'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that

'Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
Is somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

You can't give up
When you're looking for a diamond in a rough
Because you never know when it shows up
Make sure you're holding on
'Cause it could be the one
The one you're waiting on

'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me

Nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
Is somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Nobody wants to be the last one there (when you're looking for)
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares (because you never know)
Is somebody else that feels the same somewhere? (make sure you're holding on)
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

meet ushika

i came across this name while reading a newspaper the other day.
while pronouncing the name, it felt quite funny and can't stop myself from laughing.

it's definitely because the name is USHIKA. i can't avoid myself from associating that name with my dear friend eyu because eyu often write her name EYU SHIKA (fancying the ninja character from Naruto) or SHIKA EYU. these two names sounds pretty much the same, right? hahaha..

and what makes things even funnier is that USHIKA is the name of a cow-looking billy goat. it's a goat!! *LOL* this billy goat is found in Japan and it's special since it resembles a typical dairy cow. eyu must be 'thrilled' to know that her favourite penname belongs to a billy goat... hahahaha


it's killing me!!

this week has been hell for us (tesl 3rd year clan).
if a football player scored 3 consecutive goals, it would be called Hat-trick. what about us who have to submit 4 assignments (more than three) consecutively?? we should call it "HAT-TRICK plus one". haha.. from monday until thursday this week, we have to finish and submit FOUR heavy assignments and all are killing me..
the best part is, everybody seems to struggle on them until the very last minute. huhu.. we are so darn busy at the moment.

it's hard on us.. we know that the semester is going to an end and that explains why all the tedious jobs of completing written assignments are to be due this week. but there are still one or two to go.. *sigh* my right shoulder is badly hurt and if i can hire a chiropractor to massage my shoulder, i would do that so that the pain of this stressed out and overused shoul
der can be eased.. not forgetting to mention that i have not been sleeping normally these several weeks.. no quality sleep for me. huhu.. averagely, i only manage to sleep for about 3 hours per day since three weeks ago.

oh my.. it's killing me..

dedicating a weekend to orang asli

it has been a tiring weekend for i had gone to the orang asli village in pulau indah for a programme under JASA in collaboration with MAIS. the programme with the name "kembara asli II" is quite a tough programme to me. it was short, brief but full with objectives. we went there of course to spread the Islamic teaching (da'wah) but in a very subtle way since the majority of the villagers are still non-believers. we also aimed at helping the orang asli community in terms of education, self-esteem building and such in this outreach programme. i like to dedicate myself to this kind of healthy activity.

so we went there with the total of 30 participants on friday
noon, 6th march 2009 . after some hiccups, we finally get there at 5 pm and started working as we have promised to give our best to the orang asli community there. i straight away went into action as the Head of Catering committee. my job scope is mainly to be in the kitchen compound, help the food preparation and serving. it was fun to work once again in the catering committee but the experience is different from what i've experience in the previous programme (kg sg berua, hulu terengganu). it's definitely different due to the fact that now i'm the head and the surroundings are different. we even have the MAIS officers to cook for us. i rather felt awkward working at first and that resulted in some not so scrumptious events like lateness in serving food for the VIP. then i realised that it is not an easy job thus i tried to work harder and dedicate all my will to the job. it was tiring but fun. it is certainly a serene feeling watching people eat and indulging the food with happy faces. i felt full already when watching the orang asli eating with their whole heart. i felt happy to serve them. the villagers are quiet participative, active and outward. they liked it very much to have us there and offer them every kind of activities. i was relieved to know that most of the children there are constant school-goers and can read well. they are not as backward as i imagined.

children of kampung org asli pulau indah

eat your heart out

then i of course didn't have the time to roam around and get into the activities others were conducting since i was very busy at the kitchen. i just made some precious moments to get out from the kitchen once in a while to just visit and have a glance at the activities like children's module, sports activities, opening ceremony and craft class. but i never let go the chance of joining the chicken dance slot. it was so fun to dance the chicken dance together with the villagers. then i was proud with us all for working with all our heart. all the committee, namely module, sports & welfare, prep & tech, special task, prog coordinator, D&I, and mainboard have worked so hard to make the programme a success. although some problems ocurred and changes made, we managed to made it through. what a great team we are. hehe.. thanks to all for giving me the trust to lead the catering committee.

helping with the food preparation

posing with craft souvenirs

there were some new experiences i got there and the most appealing one is witnessing the reversion of a man back to Islam. it was a new experience for me as i never get involved into any reversion ceremony before. it was a moment of truth and i got goosebumps everywhere. and also it was great to experience the traditional orang asli dance by the name "sewang" and this ritual is a must in every village that JASA visited. it was fun to watch. i love learning others' culture.
reversion to islam ceremony ~ ALLAHU AKBAR


i was hoping to join more JASA programme in the future but that seems impossible since my time here in iium is about to expire and i will be too busy to join any activity for the short time i have left here before i leave this place. (waaaaa!!)