i really have so much to say in this blog but at times i cant organise my thoughts on the spot. and the internet connection has been a challenge for me to be able to update the musings i have in mind. and i have this mood thing you know. i write whenever i have mood. when the mood is not there despite the pouring idea, i will not be writing not even one paragraph. huhu... enough said, i just want to state the obvious.

if you really follow the happenings in my life as stated in fb (pretty much about the happenings in my life or just anyone are available at facebook right? since fb is becoming more and more busybody nowadays.. haha) you will know that i itched sooo much to start working as a teacher. after the tiring 6 months wait, i finally hit the school.

i am now a teacher (although in reality i still need to be verified in my post as a government servant or in simpler words, still in probation, just like the driving license). you have no idea what joy it brings by just saying that. *sigh of relief*

a rookie to be exact. if you dont know what rookie is, allow me to explain it to you in some terms there are in this world we are walking in.

newbie = new ones in the department/school/office/wherever you work
rookie = fresh graduate who straight go to the first job with no experience whatsoever
penyapu baru = quite the same thing. but this label has functions with it. the newbie should (in the oldbie minds) be treated like a new broom, where all the work are pushed to the newbie as they have nothing to do and it will give them quite the experience. to a certain extent, this label gives some sort of permission to the oldbie to rag or as it gets stronger, BULLY the newbie. this is just what i think the label suggests. any difference in definition is welcomed.

that is exactly what i am, minus the treatment i mentioned. i am a rookie in my new school. therefore, some people treated me nice and some people didnt. it depends on how the 'oldbie' or the senior teachers perceive new teachers like me. i have to mention here that i didnt receive any harsh treatment at school as a rookie but going to school during the first three weeks was intimidating to me. i was trying to make myself look presentable, good and useful. i was trying hard to curb any negativity that might come out of me to present a good first impression on everyone, and most importantly to the Headmaster. i also was afraid to annoy or disappoint anyone. i am a loud happy-go-lucky person as my friends knew me but around new people, i am this shy awkward girl who can hardly utter audicable voice. i tried to come early but that didnt work well actually. haha.. lateness, it is in my blood, what to do?? hahaha

despite the term penyapu baru, not really many responsibilities were thrusted upon me last october for it was the end of the year. i just hang out in the staff room staring at meaningless papers while holding my sleepiness. haha.. many of my friends were not as lucky as i was. right away there were thrown so many tasks and jobs to do as their schools were much smaller than mine. my school is a big school with nearly 70 teachers. with that many teacher, not much workload for me to bear really. having said that, i praise Allah. :) but as the days progresses, i got some small jobs like training pupils performances for the prize-giving ceremony and being a class teacher. those were tedious and tiring but at least i got to do something.

as a rookie, it is interesting that i am at the stage where i still look around and try to read the people around me. i must figure out which can be befriended, or which i should stay away from. i gain so much exposure to the real world as a rookie. it is very educational to me to be able to learn people's behaviour and the types of people this wonderful world has. haha.. i am slowly getting the essence of socialising in the real world. surely it is not exactly as i imagined. but still, i am trying to do my best as a rookie. :)